I live with a friend. According to her, all my gf does is wait for me to come home. She has savings that she’s blowing through currently, but things like daily food and date nights are on me.Guest wrote: ↑23 Nov 2022, 17:43It looks to me that she's taking advantage of you tbh, are you ok OP?Guest wrote: ↑23 Nov 2022, 15:01My gf and I have a significant age difference. I’m closer in age to her mother. Which is awkward in and of itself. I feel as though everyone, especially her mother, feels as though I am somehow taking advantage of her.
The problem is, it actually looks that way, and I don’t know how to change it. She lost her job while we were getting to know each other and hasn’t tried to get a job since. If I try to nudge her, it turns into a fight. Instead, she spends most of her days making sure I do my job right. That includes feeding me a well balanced diet as well as making sure I get to work on time. It’s important to note that I have rarely been on time, and that it has never been a huge issue, but she’s made it top priority. Which means she has basically moved in.
I haven’t done laundry or the dishes since she’s been here. Which has been about 4 months now. It’s not that I watch her do chores, it’s just all completely spotless by the time I get home.
So anyway, last night she told me I needed a hobby. Something for me and only me in order to feel fulfilled. We went through a bunch of ideas and even started loosely planning. Naturally, I directed the convo to her, and she got angry with me. She even had the gall to call me an escape artist.
I don’t want her to lose her sense of self in our relationship, but I don’t know how to change it. It makes me wonder if I really am taking advantage of her
No offense but this obsession she has with your worktime looks like she wants you out of your house by a certain time in the morning and with the hobby thing it looks like she wants to extend the time you spend out too. Wtf, is she doing something weird at your place when you're gone?
Besides, is she independently wealthy or did you just become the sugar mama of the girl without even getting to discuss if you want to be the exclusive provider and the terms and conditions before?
OP, for fucks sake. What are you doing girl?
Another anon suggested that she may not want to discuss looking for (or lack there of) a job, which isn’t the case, because she discusses it with my roommate as well as tell me how stressful it is for her to not have a job. The problem only arises when I try to nudge her along.
It’s almost like she prefers to have her world circle around mine. She feels productive and fulfilled somehow. She literally asks nothing of me. According to her, I’m perfect when all I’m doing is living my life.