Confessions

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Re: Confessions

#851

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Guest wrote:
23 Nov 2022, 17:43
Guest wrote:
23 Nov 2022, 15:01
My gf and I have a significant age difference. I’m closer in age to her mother. Which is awkward in and of itself. I feel as though everyone, especially her mother, feels as though I am somehow taking advantage of her.

The problem is, it actually looks that way, and I don’t know how to change it. She lost her job while we were getting to know each other and hasn’t tried to get a job since. If I try to nudge her, it turns into a fight. Instead, she spends most of her days making sure I do my job right. That includes feeding me a well balanced diet as well as making sure I get to work on time. It’s important to note that I have rarely been on time, and that it has never been a huge issue, but she’s made it top priority. Which means she has basically moved in.

I haven’t done laundry or the dishes since she’s been here. Which has been about 4 months now. It’s not that I watch her do chores, it’s just all completely spotless by the time I get home.

So anyway, last night she told me I needed a hobby. Something for me and only me in order to feel fulfilled. We went through a bunch of ideas and even started loosely planning. Naturally, I directed the convo to her, and she got angry with me. She even had the gall to call me an escape artist.

I don’t want her to lose her sense of self in our relationship, but I don’t know how to change it. It makes me wonder if I really am taking advantage of her
It looks to me that she's taking advantage of you tbh, are you ok OP?
No offense but this obsession she has with your worktime looks like she wants you out of your house by a certain time in the morning and with the hobby thing it looks like she wants to extend the time you spend out too. Wtf, is she doing something weird at your place when you're gone?
Besides, is she independently wealthy or did you just become the sugar mama of the girl without even getting to discuss if you want to be the exclusive provider and the terms and conditions before?

OP, for fucks sake. What are you doing girl? <_<
I live with a friend. According to her, all my gf does is wait for me to come home. She has savings that she’s blowing through currently, but things like daily food and date nights are on me.

Another anon suggested that she may not want to discuss looking for (or lack there of) a job, which isn’t the case, because she discusses it with my roommate as well as tell me how stressful it is for her to not have a job. The problem only arises when I try to nudge her along.

It’s almost like she prefers to have her world circle around mine. She feels productive and fulfilled somehow. She literally asks nothing of me. According to her, I’m perfect when all I’m doing is living my life.

Joanna91
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Re: Confessions

#852

Post by Joanna91 »

I am in love with my best friend, but I am afraid to confess my feelings to her, because I don't want to ruin our friendship. The last night she told me, she loves me differently than the others. I am special for her and she asked me if It's same for me, If I ever had this kind of feelings towards anyone else? Our friendship is actually now in crisis, because we fight so often and she was cold towards me she wasn't even writing me , and we had times we were writing cinstantly each other and talking. She is hugging others, but me .She started ignoring my texts and answering later. We had a big fight after which she apologised. It is long story why we fiught so I won't write it. She was behaving reall bad with me even humilated me in front of other people. She started ignoring me at work too and after I told her I was leaving we had again big fight when made up again long story. Two days ago at work, we started talking about something and she told me I am jelous of her happiness and she feels I want to own her. And that she can't believe I returned to the city because of her. It is again long story why I returned, I was afraid our friendshio is over and thats why I traveled to find out if I was wrong because I valued our friendship and I love her. Well she is wrong about jelousy, and she has reasons why but briefly said I was hesrtbroken because I traveled to my city to do my surgery and she forgot it and has vanished for 5 days and I saw at her stories how hapoy she was and I got sad and I told her about that. I told her when I needed her the most she was n't by my side so thats why she concluded that I was jelous. About owning maybe she is right, because I want to be with her all the time. Of ciurse those words led to fight again . I wrote her that she is free from me and that I am sad she doesn't believe me and the last six months I was humilated and heartbtoken. When she wrote me that we needed to talk and when things happened and she was feeling down and told me she wants to talk another thime. At which I got stubborn and told her after long texts that if she won't come home to me it is over and at that time we were fighting like couple I told her she needs to prove to me that I actually matter to her. We were writing back and forth she even wrote me I am behaving like a girlfriend and telling her ut is iver as if I am her husband and told me like this if the girl is good divirce me. After I told ger yes I am dramaqueen and I am like husband now and it js over. Because she has proven me that I don't matter to her and she wrote me that she can come to the cafe not home but cafe. And we met at the cafe we were talking it was reall long and she told me how she wants to hug me and kiss me but she does it with others because I make her shy. And when she tells me that she loves me the way she nobody loved ever before. And I am now confused because there were moments when I sensed she wanted to kiss me but stopped. And she told me she loves me differentl maybe she told me this because she was aftaid she will loose me. She thought i was going abroad for work. After this confession she behaves with me normally again and texts me always. As if after her confession she is finally free and not insecure or something like that. She knows I like girls but she likes boys and maybe she was afraid of her feelings and she behaved with me badly because ahe was afraid of her feelings I don't know. I am now confused and I am thinking maybe I should confess my feelings to her but I am afraid she will reject me and we will loose our friendship. When I was crying she cried too and she nearly kissed me she leaned and I thought she will kiss me but she kissed me on my nose. So I guess I am now fucked more than ever, because I really love this girl and she told me this I knew that we will always make up, because we have this special connection and I had never ever had this connection with anyone else. I wanted so bad to kiss her but I was staying cool and did not even hug her, even though I wanted to hug and kiss her so badly. Today at work I wanted to kiss her so badly.What really terrifies me is that after I quit my job in the end of the november will she continue to be friends with me or was she playing the whole time, because she knows I like girls maybe she doesn't love me. I am so afraid to talk to her and at the same time I understand if I don't talk to her ii will pass and we will remain friends and I will be struggling because of that. So thats why I am fucked because I have no idea what to do.

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Re: Confessions

#853

Post by Guest »

Jesus fuck I cant read all that, if you want some advice keep it shorter. And you didnt even say if she was gay or bi.

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Re: Confessions

#854

Post by Guest »

I’m having a hard time accepting that you don’t want to talk anymore. After 1 yr and 8 months, why?

Joanna91
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Re: Confessions

#855

Post by Joanna91 »

Guest wrote:
24 Nov 2022, 22:59
Jesus fuck I cant read all that, if you want some advice keep it shorter. And you didnt even say if she was gay or bi.
she is straight. Sorry I wrote so much because well things happened. And she told me we have special connection and asked me if I feel with others like this? Now I am afraid should I tell her I am in love or should I let it things stay the way they were?

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Re: Confessions

#856

Post by Guest »

Joanna91 wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 08:14
Guest wrote:
24 Nov 2022, 22:59
Jesus fuck I cant read all that, if you want some advice keep it shorter. And you didnt even say if she was gay or bi.
she is straight. Sorry I wrote so much because well things happened. And she told me we have special connection and asked me if I feel with others like this? Now I am afraid should I tell her I am in love or should I let it things stay the way they were?
DA. I took a read at your post (would help to break it into paragraphs), and I think being in a relationship with her is a bad idea. There is too much drama. She (and maybe you) are rolling off abstract feelings. This is not good for a lasting relationship. Both sides should be steady, and she should know and be clear about what she wants in a relationship. Otherwise, once the honeymoon period is over, the relationship could break up easily. And to top of it, she is not even gay or bisexual. High chance of her wanting to leave and be in a relationship with men, who she is actually attracted to.

However, if you are not really looking for a serious relationship, you can try dating her if you like. If you are into serious dating however, and especially if you are in your 30's and looking to settle down, then I suggest to go date someone else. You can still keep her as a friend. Put some distance if necessary till things become less intense.

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Re: Confessions

#857

Post by Guest »

Joanna91 wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 08:14
Guest wrote:
24 Nov 2022, 22:59
:facepalm:
Jesus fuck I cant read all that, if you want some advice keep it shorter. And you didnt even say if she was gay or bi.
she is straight. Sorry I wrote so much because well things happened. And she told me we have special connection and asked me if I feel with others like this? Now I am afraid should I tell her I am in love or should I let it things stay the way they were?
:facepalm: So why are you even bothering with a straight girl? She will never be with you, she is probably just stroking her ego with you, when she meets some di** she will drop you like a hot potato.

Joanna91
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Re: Confessions

#858

Post by Joanna91 »

Guest wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 09:02
Joanna91 wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 08:14
Guest wrote:
24 Nov 2022, 22:59
Jesus fuck I cant read all that, if you want some advice keep it shorter. And you didnt even say if she was gay or bi.
she is straight. Sorry I wrote so much because well things happened. And she told me we have special connection and asked me if I feel with others like this? Now I am afraid should I tell her I am in love or should I let it things stay the way they were?
DA. I took a read at your post (would help to break it into paragraphs), and I think being in a relationship with her is a bad idea. There is too much drama. She (and maybe you) are rolling off abstract feelings. This is not good for a lasting relationship. Both sides should be steady, and she should know and be clear about what she wants in a relationship. Otherwise, once the honeymoon period is over, the relationship could break up easily. And to top of it, she is not even gay or bisexual. High chance of her wanting to leave and be in a relationship with men, who she is actually attracted to.

However, if you are not really looking for a serious relationship, you can try dating her if you like. If you are into serious dating however, and especially if you are in your 30's and looking to settle down, then I suggest to go date someone else. You can still keep her as a friend. Put some distance if necessary till things become less intense.
Thanks for reading my post, I am sorry I can't express it clearly, because English is my fourth language and it is dufficult to write. The thing is, we actually live in a homophobic country and I was actually hiding I was gay, but she somehow understood I was gay and it was ok for her. She even got jelous of the person I had crush on, well actually I was pretending I had crush, because I was afraid, she will realise I like her. Anyways we were together at vacation and I was texting this other girl and we had a fight she told me, why we are talking about her and her ex, as if we had nothing to say to each other.
At some point we even lived together omg it is so complicated. One example of the complication is she was kissing me on the neck and I told her to stop doing it,because I am getting aroused by it and we again fought because she told me why she should stop kissing me we are only friends and it is not normal from me to be aroused.

Well I got carried away maybe you are right and I should ignore my feelings because she will never be brave enough to date me even in secret. However she told me days ago that she met with a boy and he was funny cute and there was nothing wrong with him but somehow she doesn't want to date him.

I somehow felt that her behaviour changed towards me when she understood she loves me and I got hurt because of her. After surgery accident she changed she told me she can't forgive herself what she did but she was feeling bad herself, she had lot's of stres thats why she vanished . after that in next days she tells me she loves me and when she woke up and saw me started trembling and unseratood that she is afraid to loose me. After this her behaviour changed she got cold she somehow managed to always hurt me, and humilate me. And she told me that she is toxic and that she doens't want to be toxic because I don't deserve it. And she doen't like that everybody is observing us and can't wait that we fight or do mistakes. I guess she is confused, because I have no other explanation why she changed so much. And when she thought she will loose me only then she told me we have this special connection and that she loves me differently she can't explain how because some things can't be explained.
I actually want to know if she likes me the way I like her but I don't want to loose her and I am also afraid she is playing with me because she knows I like girls and she is having fun.

I guess you are right and I should let things be the way it is. You have told me about distance I can't be distanced from her I am dependent on her. And now she knows I am quiting and I was lazy to go to work she literally begged me to come because she wanted to see me. Oh everything is co confusing.

I know time will pass and it will be ok but I am wondering maybe If I told her about my feelings maybe we would have been together. And it doesn't matter how long but at least wre would have been.

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Re: Confessions

#859

Post by Guest »

Joanna91 wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 10:59
Thanks for reading my post, I am sorry I can't express it clearly, because English is my fourth language and it is dufficult to write. The thing is, we actually live in a homophobic country and I was actually hiding I was gay, but she somehow understood I was gay and it was ok for her. She even got jelous of the person I had crush on, well actually I was pretending I had crush, because I was afraid, she will realise I like her. Anyways we were together at vacation and I was texting this other girl and we had a fight she told me, why we are talking about her and her ex, as if we had nothing to say to each other.
At some point we even lived together omg it is so complicated. One example of the complication is she was kissing me on the neck and I told her to stop doing it,because I am getting aroused by it and we again fought because she told me why she should stop kissing me we are only friends and it is not normal from me to be aroused.

Well I got carried away maybe you are right and I should ignore my feelings because she will never be brave enough to date me even in secret. However she told me days ago that she met with a boy and he was funny cute and there was nothing wrong with him but somehow she doesn't want to date him.

I somehow felt that her behaviour changed towards me when she understood she loves me and I got hurt because of her. After surgery accident she changed she told me she can't forgive herself what she did but she was feeling bad herself, she had lot's of stres thats why she vanished . after that in next days she tells me she loves me and when she woke up and saw me started trembling and unseratood that she is afraid to loose me. After this her behaviour changed she got cold she somehow managed to always hurt me, and humilate me. And she told me that she is toxic and that she doens't want to be toxic because I don't deserve it. And she doen't like that everybody is observing us and can't wait that we fight or do mistakes. I guess she is confused, because I have no other explanation why she changed so much. And when she thought she will loose me only then she told me we have this special connection and that she loves me differently she can't explain how because some things can't be explained.
I actually want to know if she likes me the way I like her but I don't want to loose her and I am also afraid she is playing with me because she knows I like girls and she is having fun.

I guess you are right and I should let things be the way it is. You have told me about distance I can't be distanced from her I am dependent on her. And now she knows I am quiting and I was lazy to go to work she literally begged me to come because she wanted to see me. Oh everything is co confusing.

I know time will pass and it will be ok but I am wondering maybe If I told her about my feelings maybe we would have been together. And it doesn't matter how long but at least wre would have been.
Well, I understand that you are in love with her. But the situation still doesn't seem good. It does look like she is after you for the attention. But if you were to really give her any, she'd just pull back. Love should not be hurtful.

Alternatively, you could try being upfront with her. Tell her how you really feel. Tell her that you love her. But that you would only want a relationship if it is mutual. If not, you are happy staying just friends with her. ^_^

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Re: Confessions

#860

Post by Guest »

FFS i need to stop crushing on this straight girl at my work. She's so painfully straight too :fool: :bigcry:

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Re: Confessions

#861

Post by Guest »

My problem is that I think too much. Now I'm thinking about how I'd pass out if a girl touches me cause I'm always way too nervous around them and I don't even have someone right so there's no f point to be thinking about it right now. My mind won't leave me alone.

Joanna91
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Re: Confessions

#862

Post by Joanna91 »

Guest wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 15:08
Joanna91 wrote:
25 Nov 2022, 10:59
Thanks for reading my post, I am sorry I can't express it clearly, because English is my fourth language and it is dufficult to write. The thing is, we actually live in a homophobic country and I was actually hiding I was gay, but she somehow understood I was gay and it was ok for her. She even got jelous of the person I had crush on, well actually I was pretending I had crush, because I was afraid, she will realise I like her. Anyways we were together at vacation and I was texting this other girl and we had a fight she told me, why we are talking about her and her ex, as if we had nothing to say to each other.
At some point we even lived together omg it is so complicated. One example of the complication is she was kissing me on the neck and I told her to stop doing it,because I am getting aroused by it and we again fought because she told me why she should stop kissing me we are only friends and it is not normal from me to be aroused.

Well I got carried away maybe you are right and I should ignore my feelings because she will never be brave enough to date me even in secret. However she told me days ago that she met with a boy and he was funny cute and there was nothing wrong with him but somehow she doesn't want to date him.

I somehow felt that her behaviour changed towards me when she understood she loves me and I got hurt because of her. After surgery accident she changed she told me she can't forgive herself what she did but she was feeling bad herself, she had lot's of stres thats why she vanished . after that in next days she tells me she loves me and when she woke up and saw me started trembling and unseratood that she is afraid to loose me. After this her behaviour changed she got cold she somehow managed to always hurt me, and humilate me. And she told me that she is toxic and that she doens't want to be toxic because I don't deserve it. And she doen't like that everybody is observing us and can't wait that we fight or do mistakes. I guess she is confused, because I have no other explanation why she changed so much. And when she thought she will loose me only then she told me we have this special connection and that she loves me differently she can't explain how because some things can't be explained.
I actually want to know if she likes me the way I like her but I don't want to loose her and I am also afraid she is playing with me because she knows I like girls and she is having fun.

I guess you are right and I should let things be the way it is. You have told me about distance I can't be distanced from her I am dependent on her. And now she knows I am quiting and I was lazy to go to work she literally begged me to come because she wanted to see me. Oh everything is co confusing.

I know time will pass and it will be ok but I am wondering maybe If I told her about my feelings maybe we would have been together. And it doesn't matter how long but at least wre would have been.
Well, I understand that you are in love with her. But the situation still doesn't seem good. It does look like she is after you for the attention. But if you were to really give her any, she'd just pull back. Love should not be hurtful.

Alternatively, you could try being upfront with her. Tell her how you really feel. Tell her that you love her. But that you would only want a relationship if it is mutual. If not, you are happy staying just friends with her. ^_^
I decided to wait a little bit, I am curious, how she will behave after I leave the job. Maybe we will loose contact, at least I will understand was she really playing with me or not.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#863

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
26 Nov 2022, 19:46
My problem is that I think too much. Now I'm thinking about how I'd pass out if a girl touches me cause I'm always way too nervous around them and I don't even have someone right so there's no f point to be thinking about it right now. My mind won't leave me alone.
She'd be the one to help you wake up again since she's the one with you when you passed out. Problem is you'd pass out again when you wake up and she's still holding you.

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Re: Confessions

#864

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 08:26
Guest wrote:
26 Nov 2022, 19:46
My problem is that I think too much. Now I'm thinking about how I'd pass out if a girl touches me cause I'm always way too nervous around them and I don't even have someone right so there's no f point to be thinking about it right now. My mind won't leave me alone.
She'd be the one to help you wake up again since she's the one with you when you passed out. Problem is you'd pass out again when you wake up and she's still holding you.
Awwwww, I sense the sweetness behind this response... :hug:

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Re: Confessions

#865

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 10:47
Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 08:26
Guest wrote:
26 Nov 2022, 19:46
My problem is that I think too much. Now I'm thinking about how I'd pass out if a girl touches me cause I'm always way too nervous around them and I don't even have someone right so there's no f point to be thinking about it right now. My mind won't leave me alone.
She'd be the one to help you wake up again since she's the one with you when you passed out. Problem is you'd pass out again when you wake up and she's still holding you.
Awwwww, I sense the sweetness behind this response... :hug:
Lol really? I keep thinking how OP wouldn't be able to really wake up, unless the other girl realizes she should stop touching. She could mutter the words 'stop' and 'touching' each time she wakes up a bit to let the other girl know.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#866

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 10:58
Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 10:47
Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 08:26
Guest wrote:
26 Nov 2022, 19:46
My problem is that I think too much. Now I'm thinking about how I'd pass out if a girl touches me cause I'm always way too nervous around them and I don't even have someone right so there's no f point to be thinking about it right now. My mind won't leave me alone.
She'd be the one to help you wake up again since she's the one with you when you passed out. Problem is you'd pass out again when you wake up and she's still holding you.
Awwwww, I sense the sweetness behind this response... :hug:
Lol really? I keep thinking how OP wouldn't be able to really wake up, unless the other girl realizes she should stop touching. She could mutter the words 'stop' and 'touching' each time she wakes up a bit to let the other girl know.
Hahahahaha. Girl can't help it. She got the Midas Touch. :$

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#867

Post by Guest »

I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#868

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me
Ohh what had caused you to pass out? Hospitals. You're paying for the kit and the procedure for something you don't need. Should have the right to refuse.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#869

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me
You can thank all the queer and the bi that were pretending to be a lesbian. So no one believes that you are a lesbian anymore. :lol:

But seriously now, hospitals do that because they don't want to get into trouble. Should a woman be pregnant and loses the baby, the hospital will be held responsible for it. There are some straight women who hide their pregnancies because they don't want anyone knowing that they are pregnant, which causes problems for the hospital.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#870

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me

What they should have done professionally is take your "I am not pregnant" response at face value. Instead, they revealed their homophobia by assuming that all lesbians are somehow naive about sex and pregnancy. Either they make it protocol to run the pregnancy test as backup for ALL women or take every woman's declaration of "I am pregnant" or "I am not pregnant" (irregardless of reason) at face value and base their response on that. It took great courage for you to speak up about your sexuality and why you cannot become pregnant; they should not have used that "information" to respond differently towards you than how they would respond to any woman who says she is not pregnant in general. Hugs to you, Anon.
:hug:

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Re: Confessions

#871

Post by Guest »

My long-term gf broke up with me via text. We were having some troubles for a while but we were working on it. I put many things on the side to have more time with her but it wasn't enough.
Yesterday, we had a disagreement over the phone, I can't say we argued or fought, I felt frustrated by something, so my tone changed to a serious one, she did the same. And the next thing I know, I have a text that reads "leave my stuff at the reception, It's over".
My heart is shattered, but I won't even try to make her change her mind. It's so hard to let go and be selfless when these kind of feelings are involved.

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Re: Confessions

#872

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 08:26
Guest wrote:
26 Nov 2022, 19:46
My problem is that I think too much. Now I'm thinking about how I'd pass out if a girl touches me cause I'm always way too nervous around them and I don't even have someone right so there's no f point to be thinking about it right now. My mind won't leave me alone.
She'd be the one to help you wake up again since she's the one with you when you passed out. Problem is you'd pass out again when you wake up and she's still holding you.
Yeah, this is exactly what would happen. Lol :nervous:

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#873

Post by Guest »

I'm too embarrassed to get help for my sexual issues but clearly I'm going a bit crazy inside. I'm purposely letting myself go, not going out, not exercising etc so I look like shit so women won't flirt with me as clearly I enjoy their attention too much. I hate how women control me and I want to give in to sexual desires :bigcry:

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Re: Confessions

#874

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 16:48
I'm too embarrassed to get help for my sexual issues but clearly I'm going a bit crazy inside. I'm purposely letting myself go, not going out, not exercising etc so I look like shit so women won't flirt with me as clearly I enjoy their attention too much. I hate how women control me and I want to give in to sexual desires :bigcry:
Doesn't sound like you need help. Perhaps you have other major projects going on in your life. There's nothing wrong with prioritising in life. Go easy on yourself.

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Re: Confessions

#875

Post by Guest »

I have a serious thing for women in uniform, not like nurses but prison officers, army, cops, RSPCA inspectors. What the hell is it with the uniform. Strike me down.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#876

Post by Guest »

I had a few realizations tonight. I learned that I really cared about what my partner thought of me. I know it doesn’t sound that bad, but it was. Not from her end, from mine, because I was so sensitive to all her words that felt judgmental or overly critical. I should’ve done better to understand what she meant. The real problem was that I wanted her acceptance and respect more than I loved myself. Overtime my fear of losing her took over that I recognize it as unhealthy. Then, I lost what it was to respect myself and in turn I think that pushed her away. I’m sure her next partner will be a better match and I’m sure after I regain my confidence and respect I’ll attract the right partner. Thank you for reading this.

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Re: Confessions

#877

Post by Guest »

Is anyone else unsettled that the world is just an ego trip for sociopaths?

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#878

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 08:05
Is anyone else unsettled that the world is just an ego trip for sociopaths?
Naaa, if you give in to that thought you are adding to their energy. Do what you can to retain as much freedom and power over your own life as you can and keep your cool, they thrive on chaos, don't let them feed on your fear and the irrational behaviours that come from fear.
Ya know, be Gandalf on the bridge "I'm a servant of light, you shall not pass". :hug:

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#879

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 08:10
Guest wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 08:05
Is anyone else unsettled that the world is just an ego trip for sociopaths?
Naaa, if you give in to that thought you are adding to their energy. Do what you can to retain as much freedom and power over your own life as you can and keep your cool, they thrive on chaos, don't let them feed on your fear and the irrational behaviours that come from fear.
Ya know, be Gandalf on the bridge "I'm a servant of light, you shall not pass". :hug:
Not sure about irrational, more like reasonable but solid advice and much needed optimism. Thank you.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#880

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 12:25
Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me

What they should have done professionally is take your "I am not pregnant" response at face value. Instead, they revealed their homophobia by assuming that all lesbians are somehow naive about sex and pregnancy. Either they make it protocol to run the pregnancy test as backup for ALL women or take every woman's declaration of "I am pregnant" or "I am not pregnant" (irregardless of reason) at face value and base their response on that. It took great courage for you to speak up about your sexuality and why you cannot become pregnant; they should not have used that "information" to respond differently towards you than how they would respond to any woman who says she is not pregnant in general. Hugs to you, Anon.
:hug:
The same thing happened to me at age 12. My parents argued with the nurses, but they wouldn’t relent and I had to take one to get an xray. This was in an inner city hospital. The same thing does not happen in the suburbs - which is annoying because everyone should be treated the same and be respected. I had an xray done in the suburbs that included my hips and they didn’t even ask if I was pregnant.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#881

Post by Guest »

My gf is gaining weight. She has probably put on 50+ pounds since we started dating and she hates it. I can see the change in her confidence and she's gone on some restrictive diets. The self esteem aspect and dieting is stressing me out.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#882

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 10:35
Guest wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 08:10
Guest wrote:
29 Nov 2022, 08:05
Is anyone else unsettled that the world is just an ego trip for sociopaths?
Naaa, if you give in to that thought you are adding to their energy. Do what you can to retain as much freedom and power over your own life as you can and keep your cool, they thrive on chaos, don't let them feed on your fear and the irrational behaviours that come from fear.
Ya know, be Gandalf on the bridge "I'm a servant of light, you shall not pass". :hug:
DA. This is such an important message!! Cheers to that!!
Agreed :clap:

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#883

Post by Guest »

TLC is pretty much the only place left to truly talk about and with lesbians, apart from the occasional trolls. I've never had any friend with whom I could share about this part of me, so it kinda comforts me to have this place.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#884

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 01:01
My gf is gaining weight. She has probably put on 50+ pounds since we started dating and she hates it. I can see the change in her confidence and she's gone on some restrictive diets. The self esteem aspect and dieting is stressing me out.
Her body, her choice, right? Dieting has helped a lot of people gain back their self-esteem and confidence. Maybe she did slack on a lot of things which led to the weight gain, and now she's doing something about. Chill.

strangebirds
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Re: Confessions

#885

Post by strangebirds »

This is probably going to be a long post so I apologize but I don't know any lesbians in real life and my straight friends just don't understand so I need to vent.

I've struggled a lot with internalized homophobia this year. I was out to my mom, brother and friends but at the beginning of the year; my mom came into my room and destroyed a book that had a sapphic relationship and that made me feel so unsafe in our house. A couple of months after that because I was very sad overall; I went to a psychologist and she told me being a lesbian was unnatural and that I should go to church.


So I started to watch ex-lesbian testimonies and started reading the bible and going to church and put on my mask and tried to numb any kind of feelings. I was happy for awhile in my faith until i remembered that i was expected to marry a man someday if i continue to pretend to be straight. surrounded by christians its quite easy to forget that living a happy lesbian life is possible, that getting married to a woman and adopting is possible. When all you've been taught is how it's sinful, immoral and you pray and pray but it can't change no matter how much you wish to. So I have gone back and forth between considering myself a closeted lesbian or just a christian who struggles with same sex attraction.


I just talked with my mom yesterday and told her that i will try to move out at some point because she tries to dictate who i am because of her beliefs. she's not talking to me and giving me the cold shoulder and it hurts because i thought she was my best friend but i realize now that it came with the condition that i believe as she does and ignore my own feelings and thoughts. I just don't know what to do being an out lesbian in society feels like a fantasy that will never happen to me. I don't like drinking or partying (maybe that's because of my christian upbringing) so I feel like I wouldn't fit in to the community. I just know that living as an out and proud lesbian will mean losing my family for a potential female lover who so far is only imaginary. I don't know I just always feel like I keep saying when I do this then I'll be free to be myself but then that never happens. Like a caged bird who has been so conditioned to its cage even when the door is open they don't fly. please help

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#886

Post by Guest »

strangebirds wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 04:19
>> “..started reading the bible and going to church and put on my mask and tried to numb any kind of feelings”
>> “When all you've been taught is how it's sinful, immoral ..”


It does not sound like that church is for you. Perhaps find another one that does interpret the bible in the ways you stated. All religions are on a Spectrum. Find the christian church that aligns with you if religion is important to you.

>> I don't like drinking or partying (maybe that's because of my christian upbringing) so I feel like I wouldn't fit in to the community.

I believe you have a distorted view of communities outside the one you have been indoctrinated into.

From that take, I’m guessing your current community views most outside groups as sinful hedonist - but having not meet each individual in those other groups, they appear to be judging on the basis of their own modern tribalism. Maybe they should not be the people you look to for guidance in understanding the principles built on Jesus. Hating and ostracizing those who were not like him was never one of his teachings.

>>”..that made me feel so unsafe in our house”
>>“..she tries to dictate who i am because of her beliefs. she's not talking to me and giving me the cold shoulder … it came with the condition that i believe as she does and ignore my own feelings and thoughts”
>>“I just know that living as an out and proud lesbian will mean losing my family for a potential female lover who so far is only imaginary. “


Is that the kind of family you want? One that makes you feel unsafe?

The most important lesson here is to learn you. can. not. change. people. But you can change your life depending on how willing you are to take control of your agency. Set boundaries with people who make you feel unsafe and those who think they know more about how to live your life than you do. They get to go home at the end of the day and not care anything about you, you on the other hand are stuck with yourself for every second of every day for the rest of your life. Which of you should decide how to live your life?

If setting boundaries seems like an impossible task, start small. Such as letting your mother be the one to reopen dialog.

You can also let them go completely (lovingly even) and seek out healthy human connection & relationships with people - is the benefit of living in your truth greater than what you perceive as the cost for doing so? Only you can calculate that.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#887

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 06:40
strangebirds wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 04:19
>> “..started reading the bible and going to church and put on my mask and tried to numb any kind of feelings”
>> “When all you've been taught is how it's sinful, immoral ..”


It does not sound like that church is for you. Perhaps find another one that does interpret the bible in the ways you stated. All religions are on a Spectrum. Find the christian church that aligns with you if religion is important to you.

>> I don't like drinking or partying (maybe that's because of my christian upbringing) so I feel like I wouldn't fit in to the community.

I believe you have a distorted view of communities outside the one you have been indoctrinated into.

From that take, I’m guessing your current community views most outside groups as sinful hedonist - but having not meet each individual in those other groups, they appear to be judging on the basis of their own modern tribalism. Maybe they should not be the people you look to for guidance in understanding the principles built on Jesus. Hating and ostracizing those who were not like him was never one of his teachings.

>>”..that made me feel so unsafe in our house”
>>“..she tries to dictate who i am because of her beliefs. she's not talking to me and giving me the cold shoulder … it came with the condition that i believe as she does and ignore my own feelings and thoughts”
>>“I just know that living as an out and proud lesbian will mean losing my family for a potential female lover who so far is only imaginary. “


Is that the kind of family you want? One that makes you feel unsafe?

The most important lesson here is to learn you. can. not. change. people. But you can change your life depending on how willing you are to take control of your agency. Set boundaries with people who make you feel unsafe and those who think they know more about how to live your life than you do. They get to go home at the end of the day and not care anything about you, you on the other hand are stuck with yourself for every second of every day for the rest of your life. Which of you should decide how to live your life?

If setting boundaries seems like an impossible task, start small. Such as letting your mother be the one to reopen dialog.

You can also let them go completely (lovingly even) and seek out healthy human connection & relationships with people - is the benefit of living in your truth greater than what you perceive as the cost for doing so? Only you can calculate that.
(D/A) You've received some pretty good advice there, dear Anon. I feel for your struggle; it is hard to go through this alone. Do you have a support network of some kind, like any LGBT-friendly relatives or friends? Or access to your local LGBT community center (you can anonymously call them, they are there to help). Psychotherapy from an LGBT-affirming therapist can also be supportive during this vulnerable time. Check out the Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC); if that is too far on the gay spectrum for you, then go slow with a mainline church like the Episcopal Church. Here are some encouraging resources to read: --"Changing Our Mind: Definitive 3rd Edition of the Landmark Call for Inclusion of LGBTQ Christians with Response to Critics" (by David P. Gushee, evangelical ethics professor) --"The Bible's Yes to Same-Sex Marriage, New Edition with Study Guide: An Evangelical's Change of Heart" (by Mark Achtemeir, pastor and academic) --"Christianity and Homosexuality Reconciled: New Thinking for a New Millennium" (by Rev. Joseph Adam Pearson, Ph.D.) ... it's so hard to name all the other well-written LGBT-affirming religious books out there. Hope this helps and hang in there! ((( HUGS ))), Anon.
:hug: :heart:

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#888

Post by Guest »

strangebirds wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 04:19
This is probably going to be a long post so I apologize but I don't know any lesbians in real life and my straight friends just don't understand so I need to vent.

I've struggled a lot with internalized homophobia this year. I was out to my mom, brother and friends but at the beginning of the year; my mom came into my room and destroyed a book that had a sapphic relationship and that made me feel so unsafe in our house. A couple of months after that because I was very sad overall; I went to a psychologist and she told me being a lesbian was unnatural and that I should go to church.
Where do you live? Do you not know there is such a thing as Lesbian/Gay Christians? Have you tried googling about it?

What you are trying to ask is something that is extremely personal and no one can make that decision for you. However you seem a tad validation-seeking, and that seems unchristian-like. You should place God first instead of being desperate for other people's approval, whether they are a Christian or a non-christian. Because it is the middle ground that is right and not the extreme ends.

Ultra-Legalism has never been right. The act of being against a list of things and enforcing a list of things for the sake of, where that is considered the main act and nothing else, has never been regarded as right. The example of that is the pharisees. Because a lot of people do it just to justify their anger or dislike towards someone else. God was never in their minds.

However, the other way round, being open-minded about everything where nothing is wrong anymore, is lawlessness and is not right either.

Some resources:
https://pastorrick.com/legalism-robs-you-of-happiness/

LGBT stuff:
http://hoperemainsonline.com/

A Lesbian Christian example: Vicky Beeching.
She don't smoke, don't drink, don't party, don't engage in pornography. She is also well-educated (PHD in theology from oxford due to her wanting to do ministry). Spent 20 years hiding her sexuality, because she is a worship leader. But didn't want to hide anymore because of her illness. Attended gay conversion therapy sessions at 13. But it didn't seem to work.

You can see one of her songs here.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#889

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 03:44
Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 01:01
My gf is gaining weight. She has probably put on 50+ pounds since we started dating and she hates it. I can see the change in her confidence and she's gone on some restrictive diets. The self esteem aspect and dieting is stressing me out.
Her body, her choice, right? Dieting has helped a lot of people gain back their self-esteem and confidence. Maybe she did slack on a lot of things which led to the weight gain, and now she's doing something about. Chill.
Shes going about it stupid is the problem. She'll go on unsustainable diets so ends up yoyoing. Honestly, if she just eats her regular meals and cut out regular desserts or junky snacks shed be fine. And that would be sustainable. It stresses me because when she tells me she's on a diet again I want to support her but I know she is going about it in a way that will lead back to weight gain.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#890

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 10:45
Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 03:44
Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 01:01
My gf is gaining weight. She has probably put on 50+ pounds since we started dating and she hates it. I can see the change in her confidence and she's gone on some restrictive diets. The self esteem aspect and dieting is stressing me out.
Her body, her choice, right? Dieting has helped a lot of people gain back their self-esteem and confidence. Maybe she did slack on a lot of things which led to the weight gain, and now she's doing something about. Chill.
Shes going about it stupid is the problem. She'll go on unsustainable diets so ends up yoyoing. Honestly, if she just eats her regular meals and cut out regular desserts or junky snacks shed be fine. And that would be sustainable. It stresses me because when she tells me she's on a diet again I want to support her but I know she is going about it in a way that will lead back to weight gain.
da why dont you tell her that? Research an actual CICO diet that will work and is sustainable and tell her you will do this together with her or something.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#891

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 10:45
Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 03:44
Guest wrote:
30 Nov 2022, 01:01
My gf is gaining weight. She has probably put on 50+ pounds since we started dating and she hates it. I can see the change in her confidence and she's gone on some restrictive diets. The self esteem aspect and dieting is stressing me out.
Her body, her choice, right? Dieting has helped a lot of people gain back their self-esteem and confidence. Maybe she did slack on a lot of things which led to the weight gain, and now she's doing something about. Chill.
Shes going about it stupid is the problem. She'll go on unsustainable diets so ends up yoyoing. Honestly, if she just eats her regular meals and cut out regular desserts or junky snacks shed be fine. And that would be sustainable. It stresses me because when she tells me she's on a diet again I want to support her but I know she is going about it in a way that will lead back to weight gain.
DA 50+ pounds is a lot of weight, sounds like your gf has yoyo'ed dieted as a pattern, before you both started dating. Maybe some sort of therapy could get to the base problem, and help find ways to deal with how she treats her body.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#892

Post by Guest »

I really want to follow a couple more celebrities in-depth but their threads move too fast for me to keep up.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#893

Post by Guest »

I yearn for avalon, for real freedom, for running together in the woods, fucking each other under the waxing moon.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#894

Post by Guest »

I’m pretty sure my ex girlfriend’s new girlfriend figured out I was sneaking peeks at her Insta profile to get intel and now she’s made it private :rofl: :gaypimp:

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#895

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
02 Dec 2022, 18:54
I’m pretty sure my ex girlfriend’s new girlfriend figured out I was sneaking peeks at her Insta profile to get intel and now she’s made it private :rofl: :gaypimp:
Did you do anything to give yourself away like watch her stories or an obvious fake account to watch them?

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#896

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
02 Dec 2022, 18:58
Guest wrote:
02 Dec 2022, 18:54
I’m pretty sure my ex girlfriend’s new girlfriend figured out I was sneaking peeks at her Insta profile to get intel and now she’s made it private :rofl: :gaypimp:
Did you do anything to give yourself away like watch her stories or an obvious fake account to watch them?
Nope, I’m pretty sure I didn’t accidentally watch any of her stories and don’t have a fake account. I think maybe I popped up as a suggested person to follow and she was prob like “wtf”. I think that happens if you look at someone’s profile a few times.

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#897

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
02 Dec 2022, 04:43
I really want to follow a couple more celebrities in-depth but their threads move too fast for me to keep up.
may i ask which celebrities? :$

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#898

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me
nah they did the right thing, there are lesbians (homosexuals/goldstars) and there are lesBIans, how would they know which one you are

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#899

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
03 Dec 2022, 05:15
Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me
nah they did the right thing, there are lesbians (homosexuals/goldstars) and there are lesBIans, how would they know which one you are
x2, it's a protocol, nowadays with hundreds of labels and people changing their sexual orientation/gender as they pleased op should be happy for medicals doing their job properly

Guest
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Re: Confessions

#900

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
03 Dec 2022, 05:15
Guest wrote:
27 Nov 2022, 11:35
I passed out at work the other day and went down to the ER. They still run their pregnancy test even after I told them I was gay and had no reason whatsoever to be pregnant. :argh:
What? Did they think I was lying to them? Still bothers me they didn’t believe me
nah they did the right thing, there are lesbians (homosexuals/goldstars) and there are lesBIans, how would they know which one you are
Read the responses posted earlier than yours for a more sympathetic (and balanced) view.

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