Dating Advice

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Re: Dating Advice

#36

Post by Guest »

Ok so....trying to avoid a super long post. Basically this all started a long time ago when me and my friend had a FWB situation. I tried to ask her out to get it to be a relationship, she said no. So I thought I guess it's just a sex thing, that's fine. Over time we dropped the benefits and remained friends. But to this day she acts strangely, and I can't figure out what her deal is. We had a conversation about exes and basically she counted me among her exes and I was like no, because we never dated. Then she started doing these things where she expects me to be available to her at all times? Like she'll get upset if I miss a call from her. I'm trying to still be a good friend but I honestly have no idea where she's coming from. Is this because of our past? What should I do to stop her strange behavior?

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Re: Dating Advice

#37

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 06:45
Ok so....trying to avoid a super long post. Basically this all started a long time ago when me and my friend had a FWB situation. I tried to ask her out to get it to be a relationship, she said no. So I thought I guess it's just a sex thing, that's fine. Over time we dropped the benefits and remained friends. But to this day she acts strangely, and I can't figure out what her deal is. We had a conversation about exes and basically she counted me among her exes and I was like no, because we never dated. Then she started doing these things where she expects me to be available to her at all times? Like she'll get upset if I miss a call from her. I'm trying to still be a good friend but I honestly have no idea where she's coming from. Is this because of our past? What should I do to stop her strange behavior?
If you’re both single, you might as well suggest going back to being FWB’s. Maybe her strange behaviour will stop once she has an active satisfying sex life again.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#38

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 06:45
Ok so....trying to avoid a super long post. Basically this all started a long time ago when me and my friend had a FWB situation. I tried to ask her out to get it to be a relationship, she said no. So I thought I guess it's just a sex thing, that's fine. Over time we dropped the benefits and remained friends. But to this day she acts strangely, and I can't figure out what her deal is. We had a conversation about exes and basically she counted me among her exes and I was like no, because we never dated. Then she started doing these things where she expects me to be available to her at all times? Like she'll get upset if I miss a call from her. I'm trying to still be a good friend but I honestly have no idea where she's coming from. Is this because of our past? What should I do to stop her strange behavior?
Nothing you can really do but to continue to enforce your boundaries by reminding her that you're not and never were in a relationship, and that was her decision. You were upfront about your feelings and wanting a relationship and she turned you down, and you moved on. Her passive-aggressive behaviour now of getting upset because you're not available at her beck and call is so immature, sounds like you dodged a bullet. If she wants something more from you, she should use her words. How do you feel about her nowadays anyway? Have you moved on and no longer have feelings?

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Re: Dating Advice

#39

Post by Guest »

Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#40

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:15
Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 06:45
Ok so....trying to avoid a super long post. Basically this all started a long time ago when me and my friend had a FWB situation. I tried to ask her out to get it to be a relationship, she said no. So I thought I guess it's just a sex thing, that's fine. Over time we dropped the benefits and remained friends. But to this day she acts strangely, and I can't figure out what her deal is. We had a conversation about exes and basically she counted me among her exes and I was like no, because we never dated. Then she started doing these things where she expects me to be available to her at all times? Like she'll get upset if I miss a call from her. I'm trying to still be a good friend but I honestly have no idea where she's coming from. Is this because of our past? What should I do to stop her strange behavior?
Nothing you can really do but to continue to enforce your boundaries by reminding her that you're not and never were in a relationship, and that was her decision. You were upfront about your feelings and wanting a relationship and she turned you down, and you moved on. Her passive-aggressive behaviour now of getting upset because you're not available at her beck and call is so immature, sounds like you dodged a bullet. If she wants something more from you, she should use her words. How do you feel about her nowadays anyway? Have you moved on and no longer have feelings?
I moved on a long time ago. I would've liked to date her but that wasn't a possibility since she didn't feel the same way, so I was fine with FWB when we were both ok with it. Since then I've moved on, and I never thought about it again. I am very attracted to her but I don't like her behavior. I should've mentioned this in my earlier post, but she also tried to say that she could've been in relationships but missed out on them because she thought I'd be mad. I told her she's free to date whoever she wants and always has been. I don't get why she's trying to have this both ways? She never wanted to date me but then counts me as her ex, but then also blames me for her lack of a romantic life? It's very bizarre.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#41

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:23
Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:
You sound like you're psyching yourself out. Getting too nervous and then not doing anything. Just respond and see how it goes.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#42

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:25
Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:15
Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 06:45
Ok so....trying to avoid a super long post. Basically this all started a long time ago when me and my friend had a FWB situation. I tried to ask her out to get it to be a relationship, she said no. So I thought I guess it's just a sex thing, that's fine. Over time we dropped the benefits and remained friends. But to this day she acts strangely, and I can't figure out what her deal is. We had a conversation about exes and basically she counted me among her exes and I was like no, because we never dated. Then she started doing these things where she expects me to be available to her at all times? Like she'll get upset if I miss a call from her. I'm trying to still be a good friend but I honestly have no idea where she's coming from. Is this because of our past? What should I do to stop her strange behavior?
Nothing you can really do but to continue to enforce your boundaries by reminding her that you're not and never were in a relationship, and that was her decision. You were upfront about your feelings and wanting a relationship and she turned you down, and you moved on. Her passive-aggressive behaviour now of getting upset because you're not available at her beck and call is so immature, sounds like you dodged a bullet. If she wants something more from you, she should use her words. How do you feel about her nowadays anyway? Have you moved on and no longer have feelings?
I moved on a long time ago. I would've liked to date her but that wasn't a possibility since she didn't feel the same way, so I was fine with FWB when we were both ok with it. Since then I've moved on, and I never thought about it again. I am very attracted to her but I don't like her behavior. I should've mentioned this in my earlier post, but she also tried to say that she could've been in relationships but missed out on them because she thought I'd be mad. I told her she's free to date whoever she wants and always has been. I don't get why she's trying to have this both ways? She never wanted to date me but then counts me as her ex, but then also blames me for her lack of a romantic life? It's very bizarre.
She sounds a little bit narcissistic tbh, lol. It's like "Oh look at me, sooooo many people wanted me to their girlfriend! It's your fault I'm single though because I thought you never got over me, and I was being the saintly hero here by sparing your feelings and not agreeing to date any of the other women who wanted me. But I don't want to sound like a loser who's been single for too long, so I'll call you my ex even though we didn't actually date". It's no wonder your feelings for her faded, it sounds like she never grew up. Don't let her gaslight you into rewriting history. Remind her of the facts if she tries to blame you again for her being alone.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#43

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:23
Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:
I don't get this. Why are you on online dating if you don't want to date? "Not having the energy" means you don't want to date. If I was your date and found out you'd forced yourself to go out with me, I'd feel like I wasted my time.

How lazy can you be though? When a cute girl messages me on an app it makes me feel excited and interested. Do you not feel motivated to reply to a cute girl? I don't see the "effort" in it.

Maybe I'm being a bitch, but I'm just confused about this.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#44

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 06:45
Ok so....trying to avoid a super long post. Basically this all started a long time ago when me and my friend had a FWB situation. I tried to ask her out to get it to be a relationship, she said no. So I thought I guess it's just a sex thing, that's fine. Over time we dropped the benefits and remained friends. But to this day she acts strangely, and I can't figure out what her deal is. We had a conversation about exes and basically she counted me among her exes and I was like no, because we never dated. Then she started doing these things where she expects me to be available to her at all times? Like she'll get upset if I miss a call from her. I'm trying to still be a good friend but I honestly have no idea where she's coming from. Is this because of our past? What should I do to stop her strange behavior?
Have you realized that the problem started when you asked her out to get her to be in a relationship with you? You brought this upon yourself. So, my advice is next time, don’t agree to be in a fwb arrangement if what you’re really looking for is a serious relationship.

notop
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Re: Dating Advice

#45

Post by notop »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 16:45
Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:23
Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:
I don't get this. Why are you on online dating if you don't want to date? "Not having the energy" means you don't want to date. If I was your date and found out you'd forced yourself to go out with me, I'd feel like I wasted my time.

How lazy can you be though? When a cute girl messages me on an app it makes me feel excited and interested. Do you not feel motivated to reply to a cute girl? I don't see the "effort" in it.

Maybe I'm being a bitch, but I'm just confused about this.
Not OP but while I used to agree with you I kind of get where OP is coming from. Dating apps are fucking exhausting, 99% of the conversations are dry af and monotonous, and when you do finally find someone that you vibe with it ends up not working out for one reason or another. Especially with COVID going on and it being so hard to meet people irl I find dating so useless. Maybe I'm just a tad bit bitter though

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Re: Dating Advice

#46

Post by Guest »

notop wrote:
13 Feb 2021, 06:28
Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 16:45
Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:23
Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:
I don't get this. Why are you on online dating if you don't want to date? "Not having the energy" means you don't want to date. If I was your date and found out you'd forced yourself to go out with me, I'd feel like I wasted my time.

How lazy can you be though? When a cute girl messages me on an app it makes me feel excited and interested. Do you not feel motivated to reply to a cute girl? I don't see the "effort" in it.

Maybe I'm being a bitch, but I'm just confused about this.
Not OP but while I used to agree with you I kind of get where OP is coming from. Dating apps are fucking exhausting, 99% of the conversations are dry af and monotonous, and when you do finally find someone that you vibe with it ends up not working out for one reason or another. Especially with COVID going on and it being so hard to meet people irl I find dating so useless. Maybe I'm just a tad bit bitter though
DA, it's understandable if you and OP feel tired and reluctant to use dating apps, many people feel the same way and are content to stay single in the meantime, or at least until the pandemic is under control. In OP's case though, she should just delete the apps if she isn't going to bother to reply. She's wasting the time of the girls who message her and aren't bitter or tired about the dating process.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#47

Post by Guest »

I was always terrible at initiating the first kiss and so were most of the women i've dated. A piece of advice i got that i actually used and worked before was to say 'come over here' when your being flirting and also already sitting/standing close to each other.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#48

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:23
Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:
If you feel like it’s tiresome and you have to force yourself, then just don’t bother, cause it means you’re not really interested in getting to know her.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#49

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
09 Feb 2021, 07:23
Not about a girl but how do you “force” yourself to date? I find online dating so tiresome and I never have the energy to date. I get some good matches on bumble and tinder, where they message me first but then I just don’t reply. I want to but it’s just so much effort :nervous:
Is it just the idea of talking thru the app? Have you ever set up a date?

I already hate texting with people I know. I hated the idea of talking to women thru apps. I just can't feel any connection unless its in person. When I started online dating I was bad at responding because it felt like a chore so i just decided to actually ask them out usually like the 3rd or 4th message. Usually there wasnt any messaging after the date was confirmed to which was a bonus. It motivated me to actually respond/message first because i had a "goal" of a sort.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#50

Post by Guest »

Ghosted again :sadangel:

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#51

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 07:55
Ghosted again :sadangel:
Hang in there :hug:

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Re: Dating Advice

#52

Post by Kittybunny77 »

How do you gently let a girl down? I matched with her on tinder and she seemed sweet, had great conversation and I thought she was good looking-
We added each other on Instagram and have continued talking for about a week, but I’m really not feeling it anymore.
Not to sound like too much of a d--- but she’s kind of annoying me now, like she’s constantly messaging me about how lonely she is and just needs someone to stroke her hair and stuff and I find it so damn cringe that I never know how to reply.
I’ve tried just leaving her messages on seen so she gets the hint but she just messages me again and again. I know how it feels to be just ghosted and I don’t want to do that to her but at the same time I don’t want to come across as a huge douche if I just continue messaging her even though I no longer have any sort of attraction to her :(

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Re: Dating Advice

#53

Post by Kittybunny77 »

Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:48
How do you gently let a girl down? I matched with her on tinder and she seemed sweet, had great conversation and I thought she was good looking-
We added each other on Instagram and have continued talking for about a week, but I’m really not feeling it anymore.
Not to sound like too much of a d--- but she’s kind of annoying me now, like she’s constantly messaging me about how lonely she is and just needs someone to stroke her hair and stuff and I find it so damn cringe that I never know how to reply.
I’ve tried just leaving her messages on seen so she gets the hint but she just messages me again and again. I know how it feels to be just ghosted and I don’t want to do that to her but at the same time I don’t want to come across as a huge douche if I just continue messaging her even though I no longer have any sort of attraction to her :(

QMTA

You can tell that I’ve never had to reject someone before, it’s usually the other way round aha

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#54

Post by Guest »

Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:51
Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:48
How do you gently let a girl down? I matched with her on tinder and she seemed sweet, had great conversation and I thought she was good looking-
We added each other on Instagram and have continued talking for about a week, but I’m really not feeling it anymore.
Not to sound like too much of a d--- but she’s kind of annoying me now, like she’s constantly messaging me about how lonely she is and just needs someone to stroke her hair and stuff and I find it so damn cringe that I never know how to reply.
I’ve tried just leaving her messages on seen so she gets the hint but she just messages me again and again. I know how it feels to be just ghosted and I don’t want to do that to her but at the same time I don’t want to come across as a huge douche if I just continue messaging her even though I no longer have any sort of attraction to her :(

QMTA

You can tell that I’ve never had to reject someone before, it’s usually the other way round aha
You'll just have to accept and mentally prepare yourself for her feeling hurt. We can't predict what her reaction will be, so you'll just have to ready yourself for best/worst case scenarios lol. Just say "Hey, it was nice to match with you and chat for a while, however I just want you to know that I don't see things going further between us. You're a lovely person and I wish you the best of luck in meeting someone special", or something along those lines. Sorry to say, but you can't really avoid someone not thinking you're a douche after rejecting them, no matter how you gently you try to word it. If she starts blowing up your phone with rude messages, be firm and say you don't accept being spoken to like that and that you will now block her(then do actually block her everywhere). The best case scenario is that she's gracious and says "thanks for letting me know" and blocks you. It's early days and you haven't even met each other in person yet, so hopefully she does not react badly(but be ready if she does).

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#55

Post by Guest »

Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:51
Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:48
How do you gently let a girl down? I matched with her on tinder and she seemed sweet, had great conversation and I thought she was good looking-
We added each other on Instagram and have continued talking for about a week, but I’m really not feeling it anymore.
Not to sound like too much of a d--- but she’s kind of annoying me now, like she’s constantly messaging me about how lonely she is and just needs someone to stroke her hair and stuff and I find it so damn cringe that I never know how to reply.
I’ve tried just leaving her messages on seen so she gets the hint but she just messages me again and again. I know how it feels to be just ghosted and I don’t want to do that to her but at the same time I don’t want to come across as a huge douche if I just continue messaging her even though I no longer have any sort of attraction to her :(

QMTA

You can tell that I’ve never had to reject someone before, it’s usually the other way round aha
It’s not in your lack of experience, but your personality (habits formed over time). Some people can have the same scenarios over and over and never change. Scared to hurt others, when really, being hurt may not exactly be their reaction. Would it be called “rejection” if you simply don’t feel any special? Some will appreciate your honesty, if some don’t, well then, good riddance.

Saying “No” or leaving when you really have to, or simply feel like it, is something you should add to your learned helpful habits: Having firm boundaries and being assertive.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#56

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 11:38
Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:51
Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:48
How do you gently let a girl down? I matched with her on tinder and she seemed sweet, had great conversation and I thought she was good looking-
We added each other on Instagram and have continued talking for about a week, but I’m really not feeling it anymore.
Not to sound like too much of a d--- but she’s kind of annoying me now, like she’s constantly messaging me about how lonely she is and just needs someone to stroke her hair and stuff and I find it so damn cringe that I never know how to reply.
I’ve tried just leaving her messages on seen so she gets the hint but she just messages me again and again. I know how it feels to be just ghosted and I don’t want to do that to her but at the same time I don’t want to come across as a huge douche if I just continue messaging her even though I no longer have any sort of attraction to her :(

QMTA

You can tell that I’ve never had to reject someone before, it’s usually the other way round aha
It’s not in your lack of experience, but your personality (habits formed over time). Some people can have the same scenarios over and over and never change. Scared to hurt others, when really, being hurt may not exactly be their reaction. Would it be called “rejection” if you simply don’t feel any special? Some will appreciate your honesty, if some don’t, well then, good riddance.

Saying “No” or leaving when you really have to, or simply feel like it, is something you should add to your learned helpful habits: Having firm boundaries and being assertive.
DA yeah what are the chances the person who’s constantly messaging you about how lonely she is might get hurt once you told her that you want to stop talking to her?

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Re: Dating Advice

#57

Post by Guest »

Not to be rude girls but the eitherway the other party will be hurt so why sugarcoat?🤔
If it were me-- I won't have any obligation to her at all since we are not together yet. Just be honest and frankly but politely tell her that it's not working out and it would be best for you two to just be allies since you will never see her as the one you'd like to spend your infinity with.
A decent and mature person should be able to accept and live with that. :hug:
If she doesn't listen and persists to the point of harassing you then just block or delete her and move on with your life, Miss. 😅

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#58

Post by Guest »

but eitherway

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#59

Post by Guest »

I just don’t get why that other anon think that there’s a possibility that she might not get hurt when op already mentioned that the girl is lonely.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#60

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 12:24
Guest wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 11:38
Kittybunny77 wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 10:51



QMTA

You can tell that I’ve never had to reject someone before, it’s usually the other way round aha
It’s not in your lack of experience, but your personality (habits formed over time). Some people can have the same scenarios over and over and never change. Scared to hurt others, when really, being hurt may not exactly be their reaction. Would it be called “rejection” if you simply don’t feel any special? Some will appreciate your honesty, if some don’t, well then, good riddance.

Saying “No” or leaving when you really have to, or simply feel like it, is something you should add to your learned helpful habits: Having firm boundaries and being assertive.
DA yeah what are the chances the person who’s constantly messaging you about how lonely she is might get hurt once you told her that you want to stop talking to her?
Yeah, hers is not a situation where no communication will work. Through talking, the girl just might understand. Better than to assume she will not, and let yourself be untrue by giving her false hope, while you also suffer senselessly by keeping that unwanted dynamic. At least, tell her the truth.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#61

Post by Guest »

If you are really troubled over the other person’s potential feelings of rejection, the only way to reject them is to use an alibi.

“I’ve really enjoyed speaking with you but I’ve decided put the brakes on dating right now”

“I’m talking to someone and want to see where it goes”

This makes it nothing to do with them. They haven’t failed, it’s not about you disliking them. It’s all on you! You’re just otherwise occupied. Softest blow to the ego possible.

If you vaguely state “I don’t see this going anywhere” especially to someone who seems as needy and insecure a mess as this girl, they’ll be overthinking why you did not see it going anywhere for days.

Just an option 🤷🏽‍♀️

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#62

Post by Guest »

Just pop this link into her DMs:

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Kittybunny77
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Re: Dating Advice

#63

Post by Kittybunny77 »

Guest wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 14:00
If you are really troubled over the other person’s potential feelings of rejection, the only way to reject them is to use an alibi.

“I’ve really enjoyed speaking with you but I’ve decided put the brakes on dating right now”

“I’m talking to someone and want to see where it goes”

This makes it nothing to do with them. They haven’t failed, it’s not about you disliking them. It’s all on you! You’re just otherwise occupied. Softest blow to the ego possible.

If you vaguely state “I don’t see this going anywhere” especially to someone who seems as needy and insecure a mess as this girl, they’ll be overthinking why you did not see it going anywhere for days.

Just an option 🤷🏽‍♀️
Wow this seems like the perfect thing to say, I’m going to try it and see what happens. Thanks!

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Kittybunny77
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Re: Dating Advice

#64

Post by Kittybunny77 »

Guest wrote:
03 Mar 2021, 14:22
Just pop this link into her DMs:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#65

Post by Guest »

I've been dating my new gf for about a month. She's great, but the problem is that she can get a little too rough when fingering me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I bring it up?

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#66

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
16 Mar 2021, 23:08
I've been dating my new gf for about a month. She's great, but the problem is that she can get a little too rough when fingering me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I bring it up?
Say “ouch! Ouch ouch ouch!” If she continues, kick her in the face. Otherwise, when she stops, explain it was too rough “for me.” It is more gentle if you add “for me”, in my experience. You don’t want to hurt her ego.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#67

Post by Guest »

I’ve been seeing this girl for almost a month now, well we started talking early February but didn’t meet until March. Anyways, last night we snuggled with each other and it was so sweet and nice. I am in my mid 20s and I’ve never dated anyone before, not a man (vomit) nor a woman, so she is my first. So cuddling was such a nice experience and I’m so glad she asked to cuddle because I would have just sat there 2 feet apart. I’m really new and incredibly shy to dating. I want to kiss her but I don’t know how to make the move. I never have kissed someone before. So how do I get over my nerves and just do it? Or do I just wait for the right moment to present itself? Do I ask her to kiss me? I also feel bad because we are moving slow. I know by now couples dating are already having seggs and so part of me feels bad that I may be moving too slow

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#68

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
16 Mar 2021, 23:08
I've been dating my new gf for about a month. She's great, but the problem is that she can get a little too rough when fingering me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I bring it up?
While she’s fingering you, tell her to go softer.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#69

Post by Guest »

I've been pretty serious with someone for a while now. She decided to join the police and it's all gone wrong. I've lost her. She is work obsessed. It's like she joined a cult. Nothing I do or say interests her anymore. It's all about work. I thought she was the one😭
Bit embarrassed I have put this but noone gets it.

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Re: Dating Advice

#70

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
28 Mar 2021, 17:27
I’ve been seeing this girl for almost a month now, well we started talking early February but didn’t meet until March. Anyways, last night we snuggled with each other and it was so sweet and nice. I am in my mid 20s and I’ve never dated anyone before, not a man (vomit) nor a woman, so she is my first. So cuddling was such a nice experience and I’m so glad she asked to cuddle because I would have just sat there 2 feet apart. I’m really new and incredibly shy to dating. I want to kiss her but I don’t know how to make the move. I never have kissed someone before. So how do I get over my nerves and just do it? Or do I just wait for the right moment to present itself? Do I ask her to kiss me? I also feel bad because we are moving slow. I know by now couples dating are already having seggs and so part of me feels bad that I may be moving too slow
Does she know about the fact that this is your first relationship? You should probably tell her that. It would take a lot of stress off you. That way she'd know why you guys are taking it slow. If you need to go slow do that. You don't want to rush into this just cause you feel like you should.

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Re: Dating Advice

#71

Post by Guest »

Any types for bringing up taking sex slow? I haven't had the best sexual experiences (all with women) so I've become nervous to sleep with someone new. But I don't want to sound like I have issues to the other person, or that I'm scared of sex or have trauma. I just want to get to know someone a bit more first to feel truly comfortable enough to have sex.

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Re: Dating Advice

#72

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
29 Mar 2021, 02:11
Any types for bringing up taking sex slow? I haven't had the best sexual experiences (all with women) so I've become nervous to sleep with someone new. But I don't want to sound like I have issues to the other person, or that I'm scared of sex or have trauma. I just want to get to know someone a bit more first to feel truly comfortable enough to have sex.
Bump. This isn’t my question but I want to know.

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Re: Dating Advice

#73

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
28 Mar 2021, 22:43
I've been pretty serious with someone for a while now. She decided to join the police and it's all gone wrong. I've lost her. She is work obsessed. It's like she joined a cult. Nothing I do or say interests her anymore. It's all about work. I thought she was the one😭
Bit embarrassed I have put this but noone gets it.
Sorry to hear that, anon. That sounds like a tough situation. I wonder if she might get a little more balanced (meaning, less work obsessed) with time? However, it may not be a good idea to wait around hoping things will get better, perhaps. Sorry, it sounds like a tough situation.

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Re: Dating Advice

#74

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
29 Mar 2021, 02:11
Any types for bringing up taking sex slow? I haven't had the best sexual experiences (all with women) so I've become nervous to sleep with someone new. But I don't want to sound like I have issues to the other person, or that I'm scared of sex or have trauma. I just want to get to know someone a bit more first to feel truly comfortable enough to have sex.
I'd just put it out there OP. Are you currently dating someone? If so, then tell them you really like them and would like to know them better, but that you aren't going to jump into sex.

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Re: Dating Advice

#75

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
28 Mar 2021, 17:37
Guest wrote:
16 Mar 2021, 23:08
I've been dating my new gf for about a month. She's great, but the problem is that she can get a little too rough when fingering me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I bring it up?
While she’s fingering you, tell her to go softer.
x2 tell her it feels better that way for you. Then ask her how she prefers it. Win win.

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Re: Dating Advice

#76

Post by Guest »

Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(

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Re: Dating Advice

#77

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:23
Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(
We don’t know the girl so none of us here can tell if she’s grieving or making an excuse to avoid you.

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Re: Dating Advice

#78

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:33
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:23
Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(
We don’t know the girl so none of us here can tell if she’s grieving or making an excuse to avoid you.
Sorry, I don't have anyone to talk to about this in real so I decided to post here. It's bothering me all day I can't concentrate on anything.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#79

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:50
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:33
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:23
Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(
We don’t know the girl so none of us here can tell if she’s grieving or making an excuse to avoid you.
Sorry, I don't have anyone to talk to about this in real so I decided to post here. It's bothering me all day I can't concentrate on anything.
Stop thinking that you did something wrong and just believe what she said that she needs time to grieve by herself.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#80

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:23
Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(
Losing a pet is very hard. Also some people like to deal with their pain on their own and shut themselves off from people. Give her time, don't think too much into it right now. You will see if she wants to continue talking to you at some point. But also, sorry to say this, if you've only been talking and never even met, then you are not a priority in her life right now. Your connection wasn't that deep yet. It could still be in the future though!

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Re: Dating Advice

#81

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:57
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:50
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:33
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:23
Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(
We don’t know the girl so none of us here can tell if she’s grieving or making an excuse to avoid you.
Sorry, I don't have anyone to talk to about this in real so I decided to post here. It's bothering me all day I can't concentrate on anything.
Stop thinking that you did something wrong and just believe what she said that she needs time to grieve by herself.
Thank you.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#82

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 17:02
Guest wrote:
05 Oct 2021, 16:23
Hi all! I need advice please.

I was talking to this girl and I really like her, she said she admire me too. We've been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other, flirting. Then recently, she adopted a pet cat and when she took it to the vet, her cat died. She didn't take it so well and she said she was crying all day. Then the next day, she messaged me that she's trying to be okay and could not text me like before. She said she'll stay away from internet for now. So my question is...

Is it really because she's grieving from her pet's death, or is it an excuse to fade on me?

I can't stop thinking what went wrong or anything I did that might have turn her off. I told her that if she needs support, I'm just here, but she blew me off instead. It hurts. I don't understand. :(
Losing a pet is very hard. Also some people like to deal with their pain on their own and shut themselves off from people. Give her time, don't think too much into it right now. You will see if she wants to continue talking to you at some point. But also, sorry to say this, if you've only been talking and never even met, then you are not a priority in her life right now. Your connection wasn't that deep yet. It could still be in the future though!
Thank you so much. Your response helped me calm down. :') I agree that I should just give her space for now.

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Re: Dating Advice

#83

Post by Guest »

You cant really do much rn. If she is still interested she will contact you some day I guess.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#84

Post by Guest »

What is advice for striking a conversation with a lesbian who I see most days, and I would like to get to know her better? I do not know how to initiate.

Guest
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Re: Dating Advice

#85

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
28 Mar 2021, 22:43
I've been pretty serious with someone for a while now. She decided to join the police and it's all gone wrong. I've lost her. She is work obsessed. It's like she joined a cult. Nothing I do or say interests her anymore. It's all about work. I thought she was the one😭
Bit embarrassed I have put this but noone gets it.
Each time she talks about her work, you tell her how hot u find her in her uniform, how u want to be handcuffed, how desirable u find women in enforcement sector etc... ask her to hit you with the baton.

Make it fun! It’s her new job come on, she’s allowed to be obsessed in the beginning otherwise she’s just gonna complain to you how much she hates it.

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