What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#71

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 04:17
Guest wrote:
17 Oct 2020, 08:39
Coming out of the closet is not worth it. Homophobia will make you mentally illed and therefore ruin your quality of life until you die. Also, you may never find a girl you loves you unconditionally. She might cheat on you, get bored, dump you. Only your nuclear family gives a shit about you.
Kinda feeling this. I'm happier but much more mentally ill from stupid people.
Do most lesbian develop mental illnesses because of homophobia or it just happened to me?

I always thought I was weak minded for becoming mentally ill

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#72

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 19:53
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 04:17
Guest wrote:
17 Oct 2020, 08:39
Coming out of the closet is not worth it. Homophobia will make you mentally illed and therefore ruin your quality of life until you die. Also, you may never find a girl you loves you unconditionally. She might cheat on you, get bored, dump you. Only your nuclear family gives a shit about you.
Kinda feeling this. I'm happier but much more mentally ill from stupid people.
Do most lesbian and bisexual women develop mental illnesses because of homophobia or it just happened to me?

I always thought I was weak minded for becoming mentally ill
DA
Guys, stop listening to stupid people. As long as you're not in danger, just say 'FUCK OFF'. Love yourself and think about positive things. It's gonna be ok :girlpower:

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#73

Post by Guest »

Your looks and age determine your value in society

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#74

Post by Guest »

-You can't just sit around and expect or hope that things will someday fall into place. You have to actually put yourself out there and try to make things happen. Things seemed more effortless when I was a kid or in high school.

-It's typically much harder to make friends as an adult. A lot of people find their friend groups in high school and/or college and/or shortly afterward, and a lot of people are content to keep it that way. Adults also tend to be busier and have more responsibilities than teenagers, so a lot of people are just too busy or focused on their own things (jobs, marriages, kids, whatever) to try to make new friends.

-Moving to a new city won't automatically change your life for the better or solve all of your problems. I definitely learned this one the hard way.

-Work can be tedious and exhausting, and this will be your reality for pretty much the rest of your life (at least for the average, non-ridiculously wealthy person).

-A lot of women who say that they're lesbians actually are not.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#75

Post by Guest »

Having to work for the majority of your life in order to survive.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#76

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 07:56
It doesn't get better
So damn true. I am definitely not one of those dorks who's totally hung up on high school as the best time of my life or whatever because it wasn't that great and I wasn't exactly 'cool' in high school, but the idea that life improves astronomically after that point just has not been true for me thus far.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#77

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 20:14
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 19:53
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 04:17


Kinda feeling this. I'm happier but much more mentally ill from stupid people.
Do most lesbian and bisexual women develop mental illnesses because of homophobia or it just happened to me?

I always thought I was weak minded for becoming mentally ill
DA
Guys, stop listening to stupid people. As long as you're not in danger, just say 'FUCK OFF'. Love yourself and think about positive things. It's gonna be ok :girlpower:
How do you handle stupid people at work?
Because you can’t tell them to fuck off there.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#78

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 22:56
Having to work for the majority of your life in order to survive.
I wish I was never born because work feels like a life sentence :unsure:

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#79

Post by Guest »

That you don't have to be old for your parents to die and how that changes your life for good.
And how final death is and how you regret not spending more time with them.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#80

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 20:14
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 19:53
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 04:17


Kinda feeling this. I'm happier but much more mentally ill from stupid people.
Do most lesbian and bisexual women develop mental illnesses because of homophobia or it just happened to me?

I always thought I was weak minded for becoming mentally ill
DA
Guys, stop listening to stupid people. As long as you're not in danger, just say 'FUCK OFF'. Love yourself and think about positive things. It's gonna be ok :girlpower:
I got attacked once and it changed me tbh

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#81

Post by Guest »

I'm bisexual and all the bi erasure in the world has given me depression

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#82

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 04:11
I'm bisexual and all the bi erasure in the world has given me depression
The hurt must be made extra painful by the fact that so much of the bi erasure is perpetrated by bis

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#83

Post by Guest »

1. There's a limit to hustling, try to find balance. I made $150K/year in my early 20s, worked around the clock, and it ruined my immune system and gave me anxiety that I'm still trying to recover from.
2. No one, NO ONE is going to "complete" you. Complete yourself. Also sad but true: you're never going to know someone 100% and they can decide to they have 0 obligations to you at the drop of a hat. I've come to rely more on my family and the security of having a caring one. I feel so, so sorry for those who have shitty parents or grew up in shitty circumstances.
3. Moving to a new city is lonely and most of your friends are going to be work friends unless you make an effort to go to meet ups and events to make friends. Unfortunately, friendship circles are tight in big cities. Lots of locals and people who know each other from formative college years.
4. Take care of yourself. Seriously. Eat well. Work out. I'm in the process of reversing a lot of damage that working a 16 hour desk job caused me.
5. Dating out of college or grad school is really shitty. Expect 98% of people to be underwhelming or waste your time or ghost you. Hold out for the 2%. Also you don't NEED someone to the extent that you land a shitty partner who will do more damage than good. Let straight women worry about aging - the "declining physical attractiveness after 25" stats for women are all from the perspective of straight men, who only value youth and beauty.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#84

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 23:55
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 22:56
Having to work for the majority of your life in order to survive.
I wish I was never born because work feels like a life sentence :unsure:
It does to me too. A necessary evil that is eating up a big part of my allotted time on this earth. I'll never get that time back. I hate it. I always look forward to the end of the workday, but then realization hits me that I have to go back again and again and again. Work, home, eat, sleep. Rinse and repeat. It's just so boring and utterly pointless.


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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#86

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 04:11
I'm bisexual and all the bi erasure in the world has given me depression
If that's the harshest reality you've been hit with, it sounds like you're doing pretty well

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#87

Post by Guest »

If bis didn't exist, homosexuals and heterosexuals would be happier.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#88

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 13:54
If bis didn't exist, homosexuals and heterosexuals would be happier.
Personally I wouldn't go quite that far - instead I'd say that we'd all be a lot happier if they were honest and if they respected those of us who are only attracted to one sex. Most of the problems I've experienced with bis have boiled down to them being dishonest about who they are / what they're looking for or to them being disrespectful of gay/lesbian people's boundaries, spaces, etc.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#89

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 05:24
Everyone is fake
Not everyone but almost everyone.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#90

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 05:10
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 23:55
Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 22:56
Having to work for the majority of your life in order to survive.
I wish I was never born because work feels like a life sentence :unsure:
It does to me too. A necessary evil that is eating up a big part of my allotted time on this earth. I'll never get that time back. I hate it. I always look forward to the end of the workday, but then realization hits me that I have to go back again and again and again. Work, home, eat, sleep. Rinse and repeat. It's just so boring and utterly pointless.
Yeah it sucks. But it's a necessary evil, otherwise you don't eat, can't have running water, can't have a car, etc.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#91

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Dying without seeing I ce r a b b i t in person :bigcry:

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#92

Post by Guest »

Taylor Swift is literally the straightest person in the world

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#93

Post by Guest »

That it's LChat's fate to go through a never-ending cycle of board migrations and still be unable to shake off the male trolls, bihets and other psychos.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#94

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
20 Oct 2020, 01:06
Taylor Swift is literally the straightest person in the world
Thank God. She's ugly and annoying

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#95

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 15:56
Guest wrote:
19 Oct 2020, 13:54
If bis didn't exist, homosexuals and heterosexuals would be happier.
Personally I wouldn't go quite that far - instead I'd say that we'd all be a lot happier if they were honest and if they respected those of us who are only attracted to one sex. Most of the problems I've experienced with bis have boiled down to them being dishonest about who they are / what they're looking for or to them being disrespectful of gay/lesbian people's boundaries, spaces, etc.
They are all crazy. Look at Demi Lovato, Amber Heard, Kehlani. Bisexuals aren't right. Amber Heard Cut Johnny Depps finger off and publicly made it seem like SHE was being abused. Tapes from her therapy got leaked where she admitted she was the one who would hit him. She ruined his life. Bis do it to women too.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#96

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
20 Oct 2020, 01:33
That it's LChat's fate to go through a never-ending cycle of board migrations and still be unable to shake off the male trolls, bihets and other psychos.
If this is the only thing life taught you...

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#97

Post by Guest »

That when I fall sleep on the couch no one will carry me to my bed.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#98

Post by Guest »

Second chances are rare. Try to get it right the first time.

People skills are more important than intelligence or hard work. If your boss doesn’t like you, you’re in for a world of hurt regardless of how good you are at your job.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#99

Post by Shelby »

How do I become better at ass kissing?
My pronouns are Cash/App and Venmo/me

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#100

Post by Guest »

You will cry a lot. If you tell people. They will judge you as weak or an attention seeking nutter. So you can't tell anyone if you feel sad or if you unfortunately have been dealt a bad hand in life. All these "talk about you feelings and don't filter them" campaigns are just a sickening lie.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#101

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how homophobic people can be

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#102

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
14 Nov 2020, 19:13
how homophobic people can be
Oh I agree and it's awful. So may hateful homophobic people out there. :-/

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#103

Post by Guest »

that my parents will die one day :unsure:

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#104

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
14 Nov 2020, 19:26
that my parents will die one day :unsure:
Awww :( It's probably going to happen to us all anon. It's hard to think about isn't it? Here have a hug: :hug:

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#105

Post by Guest »

Lesbians pay too much attention to bi and straight girls.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#106

Post by Dragonfish »

How expensive life is.
How much documentation requires changing when you move house. Makes you realise just how much personal information is available to a number of companies.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#107

Post by Guest »

What is life anyway?

How mysterious but also scary it is that I don't know what happens next to a soul when it leaves its body.


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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#109

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life accelerates once past your 20s
your parents were right

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#110

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Guest wrote:
15 Oct 2020, 22:37
01) Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
02) Those cools kids in highschool that your parents said would be working for you some day if you did great in college etc... you are working for them now.
03) Looks and height have amazing power in the workplace.
04) People will do almost anything to avoid having to do work, including dumping work on others, lying etc.
05) Staying in a role for more then two to three years in the corporate world is a mistake. The current corporate climate doesn't value experts, experts are just seen as a liability.
06) You really can't work your way into higher level promotions, it is all about networking and ass kissing at a certain point.
07) You can make no mistakes and still lose, sometimes badly.
08) Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.

Disagree with 2, 5, 6, & 8.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#111

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
18 Oct 2020, 22:35
Your looks and age determine your value in society
Very much disagree.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#112

Post by Guest »

1. Death is real- spend time with loved ones NOW
2. Life is short- so live while you can
3. Life might be bland unless you are willing to take real risks
4. You will lose friendships- it’s part of growing up, keep the real ones, you’ll need them
5. Travel a lot when you’re young- it gets harder with age and growing families, plus a lot more expensive
6. Be honest and genuine- most people are too scared to be
7. You have to actually put in the work to be successful
8. You won’t be great at everything
9. There are people who are smarter, work harder, are prettier than you, are better at things than you, etc.
10. Most people really do need more love

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#113

Post by Guest »

^yes in general but not if you are very smart. I feel like being very intellegent/competent will allow you go beyond society assigning you a value based on those things. I look at the female scientists, the RBGs, the artists, those who climbed to power in politics, leading global companies, amazing writers, intellectuals etc - regardless of age dont' have to play in these societal games

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#114

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
15 Nov 2020, 04:41
Guest wrote:
15 Oct 2020, 22:37
01) Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
02) Those cools kids in highschool that your parents said would be working for you some day if you did great in college etc... you are working for them now.
03) Looks and height have amazing power in the workplace.
04) People will do almost anything to avoid having to do work, including dumping work on others, lying etc.
05) Staying in a role for more then two to three years in the corporate world is a mistake. The current corporate climate doesn't value experts, experts are just seen as a liability.
06) You really can't work your way into higher level promotions, it is all about networking and ass kissing at a certain point.
07) You can make no mistakes and still lose, sometimes badly.
08) Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.

Disagree with 2, 5, 6, & 8.
DA, I agree with your disagreements except for 2.
Cool kids may not be the bosses, but the popular kids from school were actually decent people, who are blessed in looks or charisma or something and most make the most of it

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#115

Post by Guest »

We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn

feeling this as I've wasted my youth on pointless things

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#116

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
15 Nov 2020, 05:07
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn

feeling this as I've wasted my youth on pointless things
💯

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#117

Post by Guest »

Guest wrote:
15 Nov 2020, 05:05
Guest wrote:
15 Nov 2020, 04:41
Guest wrote:
15 Oct 2020, 22:37
01) Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
02) Those cools kids in highschool that your parents said would be working for you some day if you did great in college etc... you are working for them now.
03) Looks and height have amazing power in the workplace.
04) People will do almost anything to avoid having to do work, including dumping work on others, lying etc.
05) Staying in a role for more then two to three years in the corporate world is a mistake. The current corporate climate doesn't value experts, experts are just seen as a liability.
06) You really can't work your way into higher level promotions, it is all about networking and ass kissing at a certain point.
07) You can make no mistakes and still lose, sometimes badly.
08) Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.

Disagree with 2, 5, 6, & 8.
DA, I agree with your disagreements except for 2.
Cool kids may not be the bosses, but the popular kids from school were actually decent people, who are blessed in looks or charisma or something and most make the most of it
the original point was about the bullies, like Regina George and jocks? It's true in 65% of my case, because their family is rich and extroverted + better looks. I guess they do study too

Said on 1st page that without rich family or good grades, they still go to McDonald's

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#118

Post by Guest »

maybe its different case by case. But I feel the trope of popular kids being all airheads or jocks who are secretly all insecure and needy of mummy/daddy love is an overused fantasy hollywood likes to push and something the avg person likes to believe to feel better.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#119

Post by Guest »

I have never been very intelligent but I'm not stupid, I always did what was expected of me I wanted to prove that I could do better but in the end no matter if I studied a lot or worked late I reached my limit.
I always criticized the people who got a higher job because they had a contact or were family of the owners but in the end if you have the chance take it.

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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?

#120

Post by Guest »

This is probably the best thread i have ever seen on LChat. I'm taken aback in a positive way that i found it.
I have read all the replies which i rarely do with L-Chat threads...

Op, you gave two of the three comments that hit home for me:


Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.

Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.


The third one comes from the person who wrote that her/his parents are going to die. (How poignantly true and how often now this thought cross my mind even if i try to push it away).


A 'cold harsh reality' that hit me upon reaching aduldhood is that you might be right in an argument, but you can easily fall on your face, if you don't express yourself in a clever way. If you lose your temper, they will say that you are wrong, and it will actually seem like it. It's all about keeping appearances, if people are going to support you, or not.

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