What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
how homophobic people can be
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Oh I agree and it's awful. So may hateful homophobic people out there.Guest wrote: ↑14 Nov 2020, 19:13how homophobic people can be
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
that my parents will die one day
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Awww It's probably going to happen to us all anon. It's hard to think about isn't it? Here have a hug:Guest wrote: ↑14 Nov 2020, 19:26that my parents will die one day
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Lesbians pay too much attention to bi and straight girls.
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Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
How expensive life is.
How much documentation requires changing when you move house. Makes you realise just how much personal information is available to a number of companies.
How much documentation requires changing when you move house. Makes you realise just how much personal information is available to a number of companies.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
What is life anyway?
How mysterious but also scary it is that I don't know what happens next to a soul when it leaves its body.
How mysterious but also scary it is that I don't know what happens next to a soul when it leaves its body.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
life accelerates once past your 20s
your parents were right
your parents were right
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Disagree with 2, 5, 6, & 8.Guest wrote: ↑15 Oct 2020, 22:3701) Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
02) Those cools kids in highschool that your parents said would be working for you some day if you did great in college etc... you are working for them now.
03) Looks and height have amazing power in the workplace.
04) People will do almost anything to avoid having to do work, including dumping work on others, lying etc.
05) Staying in a role for more then two to three years in the corporate world is a mistake. The current corporate climate doesn't value experts, experts are just seen as a liability.
06) You really can't work your way into higher level promotions, it is all about networking and ass kissing at a certain point.
07) You can make no mistakes and still lose, sometimes badly.
08) Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Very much disagree.Guest wrote: ↑18 Oct 2020, 22:35Your looks and age determine your value in society
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
1. Death is real- spend time with loved ones NOW
2. Life is short- so live while you can
3. Life might be bland unless you are willing to take real risks
4. You will lose friendships- it’s part of growing up, keep the real ones, you’ll need them
5. Travel a lot when you’re young- it gets harder with age and growing families, plus a lot more expensive
6. Be honest and genuine- most people are too scared to be
7. You have to actually put in the work to be successful
8. You won’t be great at everything
9. There are people who are smarter, work harder, are prettier than you, are better at things than you, etc.
10. Most people really do need more love
2. Life is short- so live while you can
3. Life might be bland unless you are willing to take real risks
4. You will lose friendships- it’s part of growing up, keep the real ones, you’ll need them
5. Travel a lot when you’re young- it gets harder with age and growing families, plus a lot more expensive
6. Be honest and genuine- most people are too scared to be
7. You have to actually put in the work to be successful
8. You won’t be great at everything
9. There are people who are smarter, work harder, are prettier than you, are better at things than you, etc.
10. Most people really do need more love
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
^yes in general but not if you are very smart. I feel like being very intellegent/competent will allow you go beyond society assigning you a value based on those things. I look at the female scientists, the RBGs, the artists, those who climbed to power in politics, leading global companies, amazing writers, intellectuals etc - regardless of age dont' have to play in these societal games
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
DA, I agree with your disagreements except for 2.Guest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 04:41Disagree with 2, 5, 6, & 8.Guest wrote: ↑15 Oct 2020, 22:3701) Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
02) Those cools kids in highschool that your parents said would be working for you some day if you did great in college etc... you are working for them now.
03) Looks and height have amazing power in the workplace.
04) People will do almost anything to avoid having to do work, including dumping work on others, lying etc.
05) Staying in a role for more then two to three years in the corporate world is a mistake. The current corporate climate doesn't value experts, experts are just seen as a liability.
06) You really can't work your way into higher level promotions, it is all about networking and ass kissing at a certain point.
07) You can make no mistakes and still lose, sometimes badly.
08) Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.
Cool kids may not be the bosses, but the popular kids from school were actually decent people, who are blessed in looks or charisma or something and most make the most of it
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn
feeling this as I've wasted my youth on pointless things
feeling this as I've wasted my youth on pointless things
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Guest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 05:07We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn
feeling this as I've wasted my youth on pointless things
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
the original point was about the bullies, like Regina George and jocks? It's true in 65% of my case, because their family is rich and extroverted + better looks. I guess they do study tooGuest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 05:05DA, I agree with your disagreements except for 2.Guest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 04:41Disagree with 2, 5, 6, & 8.Guest wrote: ↑15 Oct 2020, 22:3701) Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
02) Those cools kids in highschool that your parents said would be working for you some day if you did great in college etc... you are working for them now.
03) Looks and height have amazing power in the workplace.
04) People will do almost anything to avoid having to do work, including dumping work on others, lying etc.
05) Staying in a role for more then two to three years in the corporate world is a mistake. The current corporate climate doesn't value experts, experts are just seen as a liability.
06) You really can't work your way into higher level promotions, it is all about networking and ass kissing at a certain point.
07) You can make no mistakes and still lose, sometimes badly.
08) Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.
Cool kids may not be the bosses, but the popular kids from school were actually decent people, who are blessed in looks or charisma or something and most make the most of it
Said on 1st page that without rich family or good grades, they still go to McDonald's
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
maybe its different case by case. But I feel the trope of popular kids being all airheads or jocks who are secretly all insecure and needy of mummy/daddy love is an overused fantasy hollywood likes to push and something the avg person likes to believe to feel better.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
I have never been very intelligent but I'm not stupid, I always did what was expected of me I wanted to prove that I could do better but in the end no matter if I studied a lot or worked late I reached my limit.
I always criticized the people who got a higher job because they had a contact or were family of the owners but in the end if you have the chance take it.
I always criticized the people who got a higher job because they had a contact or were family of the owners but in the end if you have the chance take it.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
This is probably the best thread i have ever seen on LChat. I'm taken aback in a positive way that i found it.
I have read all the replies which i rarely do with L-Chat threads...
Op, you gave two of the three comments that hit home for me:
Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.
The third one comes from the person who wrote that her/his parents are going to die. (How poignantly true and how often now this thought cross my mind even if i try to push it away).
A 'cold harsh reality' that hit me upon reaching aduldhood is that you might be right in an argument, but you can easily fall on your face, if you don't express yourself in a clever way. If you lose your temper, they will say that you are wrong, and it will actually seem like it. It's all about keeping appearances, if people are going to support you, or not.
I have read all the replies which i rarely do with L-Chat threads...
Op, you gave two of the three comments that hit home for me:
Most people have no idea what they are doing and are bluffing.
Besides your immediate family spouse, parents, children the people you interact with don't really care about you. You are a potential tool to be used and as soon as you no longer are useful you will be forgotten.
The third one comes from the person who wrote that her/his parents are going to die. (How poignantly true and how often now this thought cross my mind even if i try to push it away).
A 'cold harsh reality' that hit me upon reaching aduldhood is that you might be right in an argument, but you can easily fall on your face, if you don't express yourself in a clever way. If you lose your temper, they will say that you are wrong, and it will actually seem like it. It's all about keeping appearances, if people are going to support you, or not.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
I just read something stating how we humans reference religious scripts in search of spiritual direction just like how people read the constitution in search of political freedoms and it just made me realize how most of societies rules we live and die by (no matter the region) were created by psychopaths with unfair, stagnant and unrealistic imaginations ..
Yet, we’re in awe when they were no J.K. Rowling...
Yet, we’re in awe when they were no J.K. Rowling...
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
- People are incredibly self-absorbed, even the "good" ones.
- Oblivious assholes are still assholes. What I mean by this is that someone might not realize that their actions and behavior negatively affect people, they might not have bad intentions, but at the end of the day that doesn't really matter much because they're still hurting people one way or another.
- You do not get awards for sticking around a shitty situation or sticking with someone who's self-destructive and unwilling to change. I've learned the hard way that patience and trying to stick with it very rarely ever pay off in those situations. You're not the bad guy for cutting someone out of your life no matter how much people will want to paint you out that way for "not being supportive" or whatever.
- Oblivious assholes are still assholes. What I mean by this is that someone might not realize that their actions and behavior negatively affect people, they might not have bad intentions, but at the end of the day that doesn't really matter much because they're still hurting people one way or another.
- You do not get awards for sticking around a shitty situation or sticking with someone who's self-destructive and unwilling to change. I've learned the hard way that patience and trying to stick with it very rarely ever pay off in those situations. You're not the bad guy for cutting someone out of your life no matter how much people will want to paint you out that way for "not being supportive" or whatever.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Your effort is under appreciated and easily forgotten unless there’s money involved. Being nice is seen as a sign of weakness.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
True.Guest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 05:32maybe its different case by case. But I feel the trope of popular kids being all airheads or jocks who are secretly all insecure and needy of mummy/daddy love is an overused fantasy hollywood likes to push and something the avg person likes to believe to feel better.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Pretty much all the popular kids from my school are nothing special. Pretty much everyone from my school is living either a pretty average life or is a druggie or in jail. It had the lowest score in the whole country. The smart ones are successful now. Not necessarily the popular ones.Guest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 05:19the original point was about the bullies, like Regina George and jocks? It's true in 65% of my case, because their family is rich and extroverted + better looks. I guess they do study tooGuest wrote: ↑15 Nov 2020, 05:05DA, I agree with your disagreements except for 2.
Cool kids may not be the bosses, but the popular kids from school were actually decent people, who are blessed in looks or charisma or something and most make the most of it
Said on 1st page that without rich family or good grades, they still go to McDonald's
It's just a poor area. Popular people were in the same boat mostly. And if they weren't then their parents most have been mad sending them to our school. There were a few upper working class as I call it. And then there were the poorest, the ones on benifits.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
D.A. What does that even mean, wasting your youth on pointless things?
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
We're all actually under heavy surveillance by the government.. the big brothers know everything about our lifestyle, residence, and our bank account..
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Just because you treat people with respect and kindness doesn’t mean it will be reciprocated
Not only romantic relationships I mean just in general
I understand that respect and kindness is earned but some people are just ar..holes for absolutely no reason
This is still something that astounds me and I’m in my 30s
Not only romantic relationships I mean just in general
I understand that respect and kindness is earned but some people are just ar..holes for absolutely no reason
This is still something that astounds me and I’m in my 30s
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
X100000Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 17:52Just because you treat people with respect and kindness doesn’t mean it will be reciprocated
Not only romantic relationships I mean just in general
I understand that respect and kindness is earned but some people are just ar..holes for absolutely no reason
This is still something that astounds me and I’m in my 30s
This was a hard lesson I learned in my 20’s. It’s related to what the thread OP said. Most people largely only care about themselves and what you have to offer them. So they’re only nice and respectful when it benefits them.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
x3 This was something I realized a few years ago. It made me wiser by a factor of three hundred percent.Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 18:09X100000Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 17:52Just because you treat people with respect and kindness doesn’t mean it will be reciprocated
Not only romantic relationships I mean just in general
I understand that respect and kindness is earned but some people are just ar..holes for absolutely no reason
This is still something that astounds me and I’m in my 30s
This was a hard lesson I learned in my 20’s. It’s related to what the thread OP said. Most people largely only care about themselves and what you have to offer them. So they’re only nice and respectful when it benefits them.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
This. Sometimes you just don't "vibe" with your bosses, better off finding a job elsewhere if you already do your job well.Guest wrote: ↑14 Nov 2020, 18:45Second chances are rare. Try to get it right the first time.
People skills are more important than intelligence or hard work. If your boss doesn’t like you, you’re in for a world of hurt regardless of how good you are at your job.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
You spent all those years educating yourself only to become a slave and waste most of your time working, no free time, no joy.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Op here sad isn’t when you really think about itGuest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 18:28x3 This was something I realized a few years ago. It made me wiser by a factor of three hundred percent.Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 18:09X100000Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 17:52Just because you treat people with respect and kindness doesn’t mean it will be reciprocated
Not only romantic relationships I mean just in general
I understand that respect and kindness is earned but some people are just ar..holes for absolutely no reason
This is still something that astounds me and I’m in my 30s
This was a hard lesson I learned in my 20’s. It’s related to what the thread OP said. Most people largely only care about themselves and what you have to offer them. So they’re only nice and respectful when it benefits them.
It was a harsh lesson and I’m still learning how to Navigate certain people/situations I trust my Intuition more than before and act accordingly
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
You can do all the right things, according to your parents, to your gf, to your family, to your friends, and still not please them. And you end up worse for it. What's right for others will always change, and it will always be about them. So, do things according to your wants and needs. Choose a direction and go. You may think you are making the better choice in avoiding conflict and keeping the peace, but if that comes at your own expense, it is worthless.
Shyness stops being cute.
Regrets are real. Left unaddressed, they will haunt you.
You have to keep track of your wellness- mental, physical, emotional. No one else is keeping track, or cares to. Check in with yourself regularly. This is a requirement. You can offload some of this work to mental health experts, but essentially it falls on you to stick with it.
Most things that require effort are not noticed by others. Give only as much to others as they can give to you, or else risk growing resentful. Resentment is not easy to break.
Sometimes you have to force yourself to be healthy. The payoff won't be obvious.
Sometimes the healthiest thing is to let go of people, even if they cling.
You cannot be someone's savior. You cannot cure someone's addiction or suicidal tendencies.
Shyness stops being cute.
Regrets are real. Left unaddressed, they will haunt you.
You have to keep track of your wellness- mental, physical, emotional. No one else is keeping track, or cares to. Check in with yourself regularly. This is a requirement. You can offload some of this work to mental health experts, but essentially it falls on you to stick with it.
Most things that require effort are not noticed by others. Give only as much to others as they can give to you, or else risk growing resentful. Resentment is not easy to break.
Sometimes you have to force yourself to be healthy. The payoff won't be obvious.
Sometimes the healthiest thing is to let go of people, even if they cling.
You cannot be someone's savior. You cannot cure someone's addiction or suicidal tendencies.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
This is the best reply I've read in a long time. Thank you. I'm just curious, how old are you?Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 20:40You can do all the right things, according to your parents, to your gf, to your family, to your friends, and still not please them. And you end up worse for it. What's right for others will always change, and it will always be about them. So, do things according to your wants and needs. Choose a direction and go. You may think you are making the better choice in avoiding conflict and keeping the peace, but if that comes at your own expense, it is worthless.
Shyness stops being cute.
Regrets are real. Left unaddressed, they will haunt you.
You have to keep track of your wellness- mental, physical, emotional. No one else is keeping track, or cares to. Check in with yourself regularly. This is a requirement. You can offload some of this work to mental health experts, but essentially it falls on you to stick with it.
Most things that require effort are not noticed by others. Give only as much to others as they can give to you, or else risk growing resentful. Resentment is not easy to break.
Sometimes you have to force yourself to be healthy. The payoff won't be obvious.
Sometimes the healthiest thing is to let go of people, even if they cling.
You cannot be someone's savior. You cannot cure someone's addiction or suicidal tendencies.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
That i'd still want to die.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
I really like this post. Thank you.Guest wrote: ↑01 Dec 2021, 20:40You can do all the right things, according to your parents, to your gf, to your family, to your friends, and still not please them. And you end up worse for it. What's right for others will always change, and it will always be about them. So, do things according to your wants and needs. Choose a direction and go. You may think you are making the better choice in avoiding conflict and keeping the peace, but if that comes at your own expense, it is worthless.
Shyness stops being cute.
Regrets are real. Left unaddressed, they will haunt you.
You have to keep track of your wellness- mental, physical, emotional. No one else is keeping track, or cares to. Check in with yourself regularly. This is a requirement. You can offload some of this work to mental health experts, but essentially it falls on you to stick with it.
Most things that require effort are not noticed by others. Give only as much to others as they can give to you, or else risk growing resentful. Resentment is not easy to break.
Sometimes you have to force yourself to be healthy. The payoff won't be obvious.
Sometimes the healthiest thing is to let go of people, even if they cling.
You cannot be someone's savior. You cannot cure someone's addiction or suicidal tendencies.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Other Lesbians write and think like me. I'm undecided whether that's a good or a bad thing. There are moments where a lesbian here posts something and I'm like, "did I write that?". The sad part is I'm sometimes a coward and I see it in other lesbians too. The cold harsh reality for me is, "no one hates a lesbian more than other lesbians".
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Nothing really matters
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
People can do horrible things and still live happily without repercussions.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Yes, and their consciences won't eat at them forever either. Even if they feel kind of bad at first many will get to a point where they can just rationalize and/or mostly forget it ever happened. Poe and Dostoevsky had too optimistic a view of average human psychology.Guest wrote: ↑02 Dec 2021, 01:31People can do horrible things and still live happily without repercussions.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Yup. I'm just amazed at how many people still believe in karma, that bad people will suffer even without them doing anything. Especially if the bad people are intelligent and the people they wronged are stupid.Guest wrote: ↑02 Dec 2021, 01:31People can do horrible things and still live happily without repercussions.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Reading through all what you guys listed... Certainly seems like you've encounter a couple of 'narcissists'. Karma will get them eventually, when they run out of attention from supplies. they will die very lonely and bitter, believe me
That's the beautiful thing about being authentic and real, at least we are able to have meaningful friendships and enjoy life. Those fuckers will always feel like empty shells.
That's the beautiful thing about being authentic and real, at least we are able to have meaningful friendships and enjoy life. Those fuckers will always feel like empty shells.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
That you can easily go through your adult life without anyone even knowing or caring about your existence. You have to work to make yourself known to other people and it is actually hard work to form and maintain friendships. Often the work it takes to form bonds with others as an adult outweighs the reward, and then you realise how lonely existence can really be
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
how many pedophiles exist, females as well
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Life is very short
If you come from poverty you most likely will live in poverty for your entire life.
If you come from poverty you most likely will live in poverty for your entire life.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
I know several people, mostly my mother's side of the family, who got out of poverty by being clever, networking with the right people, or by sheer perseverance, doing something with just their college degrees. It boils down to who you affiliate with and having the right eagerness/mindset.Guest wrote: ↑02 Dec 2021, 05:21Life is very short
If you come from poverty you most likely will live in poverty for your entire life.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Thr genuine niceness of people stops when you're already one of the adults. You have to fend for yourself and protect yourself at all times. And society expects you to be a particular way, take up particular image, role, respinsibilities or they will exclude you. Society is fake bitch. It pretends to be all that, but it's rotten.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
That my country will never improve, all my family members, friends, and everyone I know are destined to have a shitty, miserable and hopeless life and the only think I can do is try my best to leave.
I've never felt more heartbroken in my life than when I left for a little while and realized that people in the rest of the world don't suffer like this, don't have to fight so hard to survive, and that nobody deserves to live in the way that I did for all my life. It's a feeling that hits hard.
I've never felt more heartbroken in my life than when I left for a little while and realized that people in the rest of the world don't suffer like this, don't have to fight so hard to survive, and that nobody deserves to live in the way that I did for all my life. It's a feeling that hits hard.
Re: What cold harsh realities hit you hardest, upon reaching adulthood?
Omg, here are some hugs for everyone on this page.
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