Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

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Expand view Topic review: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 15:13

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 14:35
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 13:38
DA Your advice is incorrect. Emotional cheating is where one partner shares secret, emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner. This connection crosses boundaries and assumes a breach of trust within the primary relationship. The Effect of Emotional Cheating If these trust issues remain unsolved, the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma.
https://www.thrivingcenterofpsych.com/b ... al-affairs
DA. No such a thing as emotional cheating. People who believe this shit are the same people who believe in zodiac signs. It’s always r-- women.

“Psychological trauma” lol it’s stunning how these days people feel so comfortable draining words of its meaning (especially serious words like trauma) so they can come up with bullshity terms.

People who are prone to paranoia are mentally ill.
the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma
The person “cheated on” isn’t a victim. She would be the toxic one in the relationship. Read this shit again. Literal description of a controlling possessive relationship being excused by fake trauma.

People can have friends and confidents when they are in healthy relationships. One doesn’t need to tell all their secrets to their girlfriend/wife. People still have the right to individuality when in relationships. People who defend this “emotional cheating” bs are the only ones crossing boundaries. You weird.
DA. Total garbage. Emotional cheating is complete cheating. Do you think someone abruptly wakes up from bed and magically decide to go have an affair with someone else? It all starts small. She or he first knew them as a friend, then felt like they had a lot in common and that the other party is attractive. Then at home, start fantasizing about all kinds of possibilities (as well as withdrawing emotionally and physically from their partner or behaving weirdly), and finally, go have that affair if the other party is receptive.

If you are in a relationship, you are not supposed to be thinking of other people in a romantic and sexual context. And you are not supposed to be behaving as if you are still single. I don't know about you, but a lot of seriously married people around me do the same thing. They often behave with propriety in public, and don't put themselves in a position where people could misinterpret them having an affair.

If your girlfriend is not enough for you, then don't be with her. And if you don't like monogamy, then stick to casual relationships. Don't attempt to have your cake and eat it too.

Frankly, I can't stand people who instead of being honest about their intentions, twist facts all around and come up with fake justifications. If you want an excuse to cheat, just say so. You are the one violating her boundaries when she clearly said she wanted a monogamous relationship, and have already explained to you what that entails. Nobody will suspect you of emotional cheating if you aren't up to no good. And you won't be conscious of emotional cheating if you yourself aren't up to no good.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 14:50

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 14:35
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 13:38
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat
so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
DA Your advice is incorrect. Emotional cheating is where one partner shares secret, emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner. This connection crosses boundaries and assumes a breach of trust within the primary relationship. The Effect of Emotional Cheating If these trust issues remain unsolved, the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma.
https://www.thrivingcenterofpsych.com/b ... al-affairs
DA. No such a thing as emotional cheating. People who believe this shit are the same people who believe in zodiac signs. It’s always r-- women.

“Psychological trauma” lol it’s stunning how these days people feel so comfortable draining words of its meaning (especially serious words like trauma) so they can come up with bullshity terms.

People who are prone to paranoia are mentally ill.
the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma
The person “cheated on” isn’t a victim. She would be the toxic one in the relationship. Read this shit again. Literal description of a controlling possessive relationship being excused by fake trauma.

People can have friends and confidents when they are in healthy relationships. One doesn’t need to tell all their secrets to their girlfriend/wife. People still have the right to individuality when in relationships. People who defend this “emotional cheating” bs are the only ones crossing boundaries. You weird.
Where did you get your psych degree from, Walmart? You sound angry, people who believe this bs, is psychologists, are you above their training in the human psyche. You should have saved yourself the time you took to write, emotional cheating is cheating, it’s not a platonic friendship, that’s the difference and whether you want to accept that, doesn’t bother me, stay in denial.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 14:35

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 13:38
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat
so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
DA Your advice is incorrect. Emotional cheating is where one partner shares secret, emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner. This connection crosses boundaries and assumes a breach of trust within the primary relationship. The Effect of Emotional Cheating If these trust issues remain unsolved, the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma.
https://www.thrivingcenterofpsych.com/b ... al-affairs
DA. No such a thing as emotional cheating. People who believe this shit are the same people who believe in zodiac signs. It’s always r-- women.

“Psychological trauma” lol it’s stunning how these days people feel so comfortable draining words of its meaning (especially serious words like trauma) so they can come up with bullshity terms.

People who are prone to paranoia are mentally ill.
the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma
The person “cheated on” isn’t a victim. She would be the toxic one in the relationship. Read this shit again. Literal description of a controlling possessive relationship being excused by fake trauma.

People can have friends and confidents when they are in healthy relationships. One doesn’t need to tell all their secrets to their girlfriend/wife. People still have the right to individuality when in relationships. People who defend this “emotional cheating” bs are the only ones crossing boundaries. You weird.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 14:29

You know, isn't there a difference between forgiving and allowing the relationship to continue? Because many people seem to be conflating the two. Like, you could forgive her, in the sense that you won't hold grudges, hate or strong anger, but you end the relationship and just not be with her anymore.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 14:16

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 14:03
I may really want to forgive and even fool myself and her for a while - but eventually realise it will never be the same ever again. And it will eat away at us both till it dies an even more painful. Better to preserve some good memories of what was.

and looking at it from her/cheater perspective. If I was her, after a while I'd hate to live with the label of "guilt" at every intereaction, argument etc And slowly I'd start resenting her, even losing respect that she didn't walk away

honestly the only ppl I feel can successfully get back together are those who has grown so codependent on each other in life, family/friends around them, too scared of the unknown or starting from scratch - that they'd just settle
It’s easy to judge from a distance. Settling has nothing to do with an already established and solidified relationship.

Re: Re:

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 14:03

Guest wrote:
24 Apr 2022, 07:18
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 11:30
This is a heartbreaking post. Can relate esp the insecurities part. It’s been 8 years, I wonder how old is OP now and what has become of her? Did she go back with the ex or she’s moved on?

I think those who got cheated before definitely can relate.

My ex of 8 years cheated with me with her colleague who is older than me. It felt worse because they didn’t sleep together but developed feelings for one another. So basically she told me in March, we broke up in April, she married this woman in May. I was a wreck.

10 years later, I swiped with a woman on tinder. Turned out to be local actress, she was with her ex for 11 years, her ex cheated on her with another woman who was married to their mutual woman friend.

Imagine all this happening in SEA where lesbians are quite scarce.
where are you from? Thailand? Phillipines?
DA. IMO, There is no such thing as "scarce". Lesbian population is the same all around the world, unless you believe lesbians are influenced to be gay and not born gay. SEA has large populations. That said however, lesbians can only thrive in modern societies, and most of SEA is still third world to second world. So the real number of gay are people located in a few cities which is probably very little.

East Asia region are modern societies so it's far easier to seek a partner. China is one of the most fortuitous. Very large population and not so badly invaded by the trans and queer crowd. If you are willing to put in the right effort and be realistic, can easily get a girlfriend. My friends, when I started to know them 3 years ago they were single. Now, most of them paired up. However, they are also fairly realistic. Some lesbians there are the most lazy and unrealistic people I have ever seen. The one thing good is that some of them are amenable to correcting their dating mistakes.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 14:03

I may really want to forgive and even fool myself and her for a while - but eventually realise it will never be the same ever again. And it will eat away at us both till it dies an even more painful. Better to preserve some good memories of what was.

and looking at it from her/cheater perspective. If I was her, after a while I'd hate to live with the label of "guilt" at every intereaction, argument etc And slowly I'd start resenting her, even losing respect that she didn't walk away

honestly the only ppl I feel can successfully get back together are those who has grown so codependent on each other in life, family/friends around them, too scared of the unknown or starting from scratch - that they'd just settle

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 13:59

I would not be able to continue a relationship with a girlfriend that cheated on me. I would be hurt and my trust forever broken.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 13:44

if it's a secret, you are cheating. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/infidelity-ptsd/
Infidelity can be traumatic, causing intensely painful emotions for the person who was cheated on. They may actually experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including heightened anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and emotional distress.
What Is Post Infidelity Stress Disorder?
Although it’s not an actual diagnosis, many people report feeling post-infidelity stress disorder (PISD). If you experience relationship betrayal in the form of infidelity, you view this as a form of attack and experience interpersonal trauma with potentially devastating and lasting effects.1 You may also experience nightmares and self-doubt, have trouble trusting people (especially in relationships), and withdraw from social interactions.
Symptoms of PTSD from cheating might include:
Trust issues
Commitment issues
Intrusive thoughts
Hopelessness
Poor emotional regulation
Confusion
Becoming triggered easily
Heightened anxiety
Irritability and rage
Worry or fear
Withdrawal from social interactions

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 13:38

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat
so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
DA Your advice is incorrect. Emotional cheating is where one partner shares secret, emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner. This connection crosses boundaries and assumes a breach of trust within the primary relationship. The Effect of Emotional Cheating If these trust issues remain unsolved, the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma.
https://www.thrivingcenterofpsych.com/b ... al-affairs

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 13:21

I would forgive her, but different actions will play out for me.

If she cheated on me with another woman, I shall give her a maximum of two chances then I will call it quits.

If she cheated on me with a man, it shall be instant break-up.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 12:30

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 12:16
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 09:56
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 09:02
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat

so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
I still consider myself a cheater because we imagined having sex with each other, gave gifts, told each other we cared about the other etc. It was disgusting behaviour. I was infatuated and in some fake, fantasy world to escape reality. It was messy cause I told my partner and we did work things out after but I still feel guilty.
it's normal to fantasize about other people though and it would be weird if you didn't even if in a relationship, from acquaintances/friends to celebs or even an attractive stranger you see just once in life you name it as it's not something you control, the problem comes when you actually seek to/do engage in such fantasies
Yes I know it's normal to fantasise, but I did more than that as we spoke about it but just didn't act on it physically. I mean, she lived far away, in another country and had a gf. It was a mess and I could have stopped it. I'm just scared I'm gonna fuck up again so I guess I use this guilt to control myself idk. I don't want to lose my wife.
Da yeah your wife deserves better.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 12:16

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 09:56
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 09:02
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat

so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
I still consider myself a cheater because we imagined having sex with each other, gave gifts, told each other we cared about the other etc. It was disgusting behaviour. I was infatuated and in some fake, fantasy world to escape reality. It was messy cause I told my partner and we did work things out after but I still feel guilty.
it's normal to fantasize about other people though and it would be weird if you didn't even if in a relationship, from acquaintances/friends to celebs or even an attractive stranger you see just once in life you name it as it's not something you control, the problem comes when you actually seek to/do engage in such fantasies
Yes I know it's normal to fantasise, but I did more than that as we spoke about it but just didn't act on it physically. I mean, she lived far away, in another country and had a gf. It was a mess and I could have stopped it. I'm just scared I'm gonna fuck up again so I guess I use this guilt to control myself idk. I don't want to lose my wife.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 09:56

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 09:02
Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat

so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
I still consider myself a cheater because we imagined having sex with each other, gave gifts, told each other we cared about the other etc. It was disgusting behaviour. I was infatuated and in some fake, fantasy world to escape reality. It was messy cause I told my partner and we did work things out after but I still feel guilty.
it's normal to fantasize about other people though and it would be weird if you didn't even if in a relationship, from acquaintances/friends to celebs or even an attractive stranger you see just once in life you name it as it's not something you control, the problem comes when you actually seek to/do engage in such fantasies

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 09:02

Guest wrote:
27 May 2022, 08:21
Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat

so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards
I still consider myself a cheater because we imagined having sex with each other, gave gifts, told each other we cared about the other etc. It was disgusting behaviour. I was infatuated and in some fake, fantasy world to escape reality. It was messy cause I told my partner and we did work things out after but I still feel guilty.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 27 May 2022, 08:21

Guest wrote:
26 May 2022, 20:56
I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.
there's no such a thing as an "emotional cheating" though, if you didn't make any intimate physical contact with someone else you didn't cheat

so you were more connected to/willing to spend more your time with, someone, while somewhat estranged towards your SO in a random moment of your life? sure it can happen as relationships aren't usually perfect and sometimes you may get upset to each other, and may want some distance too, no big deal about it if you work things out afterwards

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 26 May 2022, 20:56

I still haven't forgiven myself and it's been like a year and a half. I was emotionally cheating and it was only really for less than a week technically but I still feel like a piece of shit.

Re: Re:

by Guest » 24 Apr 2022, 07:18

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 11:30
GUEST_USER wrote:
23 Sep 2018, 21:15
My gf and I were together for more than a year, everything was pretty much perfect and we even talked about moving in together, but a month ago she went on a business trip and when she returned I noticed something was wrong. She was sad and loving but in weird way....
Finally I confronted her and she confessed she cheated on me with a colleague and that happened more than once over the trip (they basically had a romantic weekend).

Naturally I broke up with her and cried my eyes out... She has send me mails, letters, called me cryng, and even talked to my parents. I still love her but cant forget the whole thing, the worst part is that the other girl brought up all my insecurities. I always considered myself cute but she gorgeous, has a cool job and is insanely fashionable. Now i'm kinda obsessed with her, keep checking her twitter and stuff (sad i know).

So what do you think???? Can we move on from this thing or is it dead already?? Can a cheater change???

Originally posted on 2014-08-05 23:26:00
This is a heartbreaking post. Can relate esp the insecurities part. It’s been 8 years, I wonder how old is OP now and what has become of her? Did she go back with the ex or she’s moved on?

I think those who got cheated before definitely can relate.

My ex of 8 years cheated with me with her colleague who is older than me. It felt worse because they didn’t sleep together but developed feelings for one another. So basically she told me in March, we broke up in April, she married this woman in May. I was a wreck.

10 years later, I swiped with a woman on tinder. Turned out to be local actress, she was with her ex for 11 years, her ex cheated on her with another woman who was married to their mutual woman friend.

Imagine all this happening in SEA where lesbians are quite scarce.
where are you from? Thailand? Phillipines?

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 22:39

Guest wrote:
11 Apr 2022, 21:43
Guest wrote:
11 Apr 2022, 21:24
once a rapist always a rapist;
once a cheater always a cheater
I'm sorry, but that's nowhere near comparable. :fool:
They truly went nuclear option lol :fool:

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 22:31

It would depend on who they cheated with (someone I knew or a man) and how much I was into them.
I have definitely stayed with someone longer than I should've bc she cheated on me w/a girl I thought I was better than and I wanted to rub it in her face that my gf would never leave me for her. It was so dumb. I knew it at the time how dumb it was, but my pride wouldn't let me break up.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 22:25

Guest wrote:
11 Apr 2022, 21:43
Guest wrote:
11 Apr 2022, 21:24
once a rapist always a rapist;
once a cheater always a cheater
I'm sorry, but that's nowhere near comparable. :fool:
once a shiteater, always a shiteater :fool:

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 22:18

If you let a cheater back in you're telling them you have no respect for yourself.

Sad that people have no sense of self worth and let themselves get abused.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 21:43

Guest wrote:
11 Apr 2022, 21:24
once a rapist always a rapist;
once a cheater always a cheater
I'm sorry, but that's nowhere near comparable. :fool:

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 21:24

once a rapist always a rapist;
once a cheater always a cheater

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 20:33

Guest wrote:
20 Feb 2022, 15:55
Guest wrote:
19 Feb 2022, 17:06
Forgive them and they will just be more careful not to get caught next time
We can forgive the second time also.
You should only give forgiveness to someone who is truly sorry and is willing to change. A person who cheated more than once doesn’t seem deserving of forgiveness.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 11 Apr 2022, 20:27

Would you forgive your girlfriend if she kissed another woman?

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 20 Feb 2022, 17:14

I think I could forgive them but I could never forget it. I would keep thinking about it every time we would be apart. Like is she going to cheat on me again like last time. It makes you paranoid and the trust goes which would probably result in a breakup anyways.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 20 Feb 2022, 15:55

Guest wrote:
19 Feb 2022, 17:06
Forgive them and they will just be more careful not to get caught next time
We can forgive the second time also.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 20 Feb 2022, 11:46

Guest wrote:
19 Feb 2022, 17:06
Forgive them and they will just be more careful not to get caught next time
:rofl: I couldn't agree more. I have been there and I could attest as a victim of a not only a cheater but also a good liar. Also, if your patner ever even loved you one incident is justifiable but several occurrence during the trip. She sure enjoyed the coitus :nails:

Re:

by Guest » 20 Feb 2022, 05:09

GUEST_USER wrote:
23 Sep 2018, 21:15
My gf and I were together for more than a year, everything was pretty much perfect and we even talked about moving in together, but a month ago she went on a business trip and when she returned I noticed something was wrong. She was sad and loving but in weird way....
Finally I confronted her and she confessed she cheated on me with a colleague and that happened more than once over the trip (they basically had a romantic weekend).

Naturally I broke up with her and cried my eyes out... She has send me mails, letters, called me cryng, and even talked to my parents. I still love her but cant forget the whole thing, the worst part is that the other girl brought up all my insecurities. I always considered myself cute but she gorgeous, has a cool job and is insanely fashionable. Now i'm kinda obsessed with her, keep checking her twitter and stuff (sad i know).

So what do you think???? Can we move on from this thing or is it dead already?? Can a cheater change???

Originally posted on 2014-08-05 23:26:00
I’m so sorry to hear this anon! I hope things got better for you, if you are still here, what was the outcome?

Yes I think people can change, yes I think cheaters can change.

But, I probably wouldn’t be able to go back to her. I would forgive her, but it would be over.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 20 Feb 2022, 04:46

Guest wrote:
06 Aug 2021, 18:33
I’m like 98% sure I wouldn’t stay. Unless I was financially dependent on them. If so then I would only stay to build up my funds and then I’ll leave them. And if by some miracle I didn’t immediately leave them they would probably break up with me eventually because I’ve become so unbearable/distant after finding out about the infidelity. Infidelity makes me extremely disgusted and repulsed with my partner. To me cheating is a sign of disrespect. Yeah I can’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect me. I’m a very prideful person.
X100 Thank you. This is most right answer I’ve seen. I don’t give a fuck how much I loved you before, when I get my shit right I’m leaving. Yezir. And it’s not even about having high self-esteem because I have very low self-esteem/body image issues but like you said I’m very prideful and I have a very low tolerances for cheating.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 17:06

Forgive them and they will just be more careful not to get caught next time

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 15:05

Guest wrote:
19 Feb 2022, 14:45
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 15:35
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:59
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:50
I would not make a big deal out of it if she cheated, with a woman.
What a stupid comment
x2, op sounds like a male who thinks that lesbian sex is not 'real' sex, so as long as it's with a woman it's fine :eyeroll:
:eyeroll:
Cheating with a man is something else, I don't want a girlfriend who likes d---.
DA
cheating with a man may be something else depending on the circumstances, but cheating is cheating even if it is with a woman. I for one would never forgive cheating no matter who it is with.

Re:

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 14:49

Guest wrote:
03 Oct 2019, 16:41
Guest wrote:I would make her do a little begging, but yeah I would forgive.
Same lol
:mask:

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 14:45

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 15:35
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:59
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:50
I would not make a big deal out of it if she cheated, with a woman.
What a stupid comment
x2, op sounds like a male who thinks that lesbian sex is not 'real' sex, so as long as it's with a woman it's fine :eyeroll:
:eyeroll:
Cheating with a man is something else, I don't want a girlfriend who likes d---.

Re: Re:

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 05:09

Guest wrote:
19 Feb 2022, 00:28
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 11:30
GUEST_USER wrote:
23 Sep 2018, 21:15
My gf and I were together for more than a year, everything was pretty much perfect and we even talked about moving in together, but a month ago she went on a business trip and when she returned I noticed something was wrong. She was sad and loving but in weird way....
Finally I confronted her and she confessed she cheated on me with a colleague and that happened more than once over the trip (they basically had a romantic weekend).

Naturally I broke up with her and cried my eyes out... She has send me mails, letters, called me cryng, and even talked to my parents. I still love her but cant forget the whole thing, the worst part is that the other girl brought up all my insecurities. I always considered myself cute but she gorgeous, has a cool job and is insanely fashionable. Now i'm kinda obsessed with her, keep checking her twitter and stuff (sad i know).

So what do you think???? Can we move on from this thing or is it dead already?? Can a cheater change???

Originally posted on 2014-08-05 23:26:00
This is a heartbreaking post. Can relate esp the insecurities part. It’s been 8 years, I wonder how old is OP now and what has become of her? Did she go back with the ex or she’s moved on?

I think those who got cheated before definitely can relate.

My ex of 8 years cheated with me with her colleague who is older than me. It felt worse because they didn’t sleep together but developed feelings for one another. So basically she told me in March, we broke up in April, she married this woman in May. I was a wreck.

10 years later, I swiped with a woman on tinder. Turned out to be local actress, she was with her ex for 11 years, her ex cheated on her with another woman who was married to their mutual woman friend.

Imagine all this happening in SEA where lesbians are quite scarce.
Both posts broke my heart :bigcry: Please tell me you are happy now anon
2nd anon.
I didn’t get together with the actress. She clearly has baggage and don’t think was ready to move on. I am also not in her league obviously. So I’m still single now.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 05:05

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 15:22
I dont know. She is just my ex friend in college.
She hate LGBT and she got married a man.
She always critized me because she thought i liked her and she found ways to push me away with bad behavious and rude words. I did nothing wrong with her, I always kept distant, respected her and didnt let her felt uncomfortable but she was disapointed because we were friends in her group. She wanted me to leave group and our friendship broke . It was long and we had never met again. 008
Which part of this is about a cheating gf?

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 00:58

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 23:07
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 15:22
I dont know. She is just my ex friend in college.
She hate LGBT and she got married a man.
She always critized me because she thought i liked her and she found ways to push me away with bad behavious and rude words. I did nothing wrong with her, I always kept distant, respected her and didnt let her felt uncomfortable but she was disapointed because we were friends in her group. She wanted me to leave group and our friendship broke . It was long and we had never met again. 008
What are you talking about? <_<
Its hard to deal with a straight girl, but i did try to be good friend :lol: and she did hate it, i moved on. :lol:

Re: Re:

by Guest » 19 Feb 2022, 00:28

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 11:30
GUEST_USER wrote:
23 Sep 2018, 21:15
My gf and I were together for more than a year, everything was pretty much perfect and we even talked about moving in together, but a month ago she went on a business trip and when she returned I noticed something was wrong. She was sad and loving but in weird way....
Finally I confronted her and she confessed she cheated on me with a colleague and that happened more than once over the trip (they basically had a romantic weekend).

Naturally I broke up with her and cried my eyes out... She has send me mails, letters, called me cryng, and even talked to my parents. I still love her but cant forget the whole thing, the worst part is that the other girl brought up all my insecurities. I always considered myself cute but she gorgeous, has a cool job and is insanely fashionable. Now i'm kinda obsessed with her, keep checking her twitter and stuff (sad i know).

So what do you think???? Can we move on from this thing or is it dead already?? Can a cheater change???

Originally posted on 2014-08-05 23:26:00
This is a heartbreaking post. Can relate esp the insecurities part. It’s been 8 years, I wonder how old is OP now and what has become of her? Did she go back with the ex or she’s moved on?

I think those who got cheated before definitely can relate.

My ex of 8 years cheated with me with her colleague who is older than me. It felt worse because they didn’t sleep together but developed feelings for one another. So basically she told me in March, we broke up in April, she married this woman in May. I was a wreck.

10 years later, I swiped with a woman on tinder. Turned out to be local actress, she was with her ex for 11 years, her ex cheated on her with another woman who was married to their mutual woman friend.

Imagine all this happening in SEA where lesbians are quite scarce.
Both posts broke my heart :bigcry: Please tell me you are happy now anon

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 23:07

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 15:22
I dont know. She is just my ex friend in college.
She hate LGBT and she got married a man.
She always critized me because she thought i liked her and she found ways to push me away with bad behavious and rude words. I did nothing wrong with her, I always kept distant, respected her and didnt let her felt uncomfortable but she was disapointed because we were friends in her group. She wanted me to leave group and our friendship broke . It was long and we had never met again. 008
What are you talking about? <_<

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 15:35

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:59
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:50
I would not make a big deal out of it if she cheated, with a woman.
What a stupid comment
x2, op sounds like a male who thinks that lesbian sex is not 'real' sex, so as long as it's with a woman it's fine :eyeroll:

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 15:22

I dont know. She is just my ex friend in college.
She hate LGBT and she got married a man.
She always critized me because she thought i liked her and she found ways to push me away with bad behavious and rude words. I did nothing wrong with her, I always kept distant, respected her and didnt let her felt uncomfortable but she was disapointed because we were friends in her group. She wanted me to leave group and our friendship broke . It was long and we had never met again. 008

Re:

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 11:30

GUEST_USER wrote:
23 Sep 2018, 21:15
My gf and I were together for more than a year, everything was pretty much perfect and we even talked about moving in together, but a month ago she went on a business trip and when she returned I noticed something was wrong. She was sad and loving but in weird way....
Finally I confronted her and she confessed she cheated on me with a colleague and that happened more than once over the trip (they basically had a romantic weekend).

Naturally I broke up with her and cried my eyes out... She has send me mails, letters, called me cryng, and even talked to my parents. I still love her but cant forget the whole thing, the worst part is that the other girl brought up all my insecurities. I always considered myself cute but she gorgeous, has a cool job and is insanely fashionable. Now i'm kinda obsessed with her, keep checking her twitter and stuff (sad i know).

So what do you think???? Can we move on from this thing or is it dead already?? Can a cheater change???

Originally posted on 2014-08-05 23:26:00
This is a heartbreaking post. Can relate esp the insecurities part. It’s been 8 years, I wonder how old is OP now and what has become of her? Did she go back with the ex or she’s moved on?

I think those who got cheated before definitely can relate.

My ex of 8 years cheated with me with her colleague who is older than me. It felt worse because they didn’t sleep together but developed feelings for one another. So basically she told me in March, we broke up in April, she married this woman in May. I was a wreck.

10 years later, I swiped with a woman on tinder. Turned out to be local actress, she was with her ex for 11 years, her ex cheated on her with another woman who was married to their mutual woman friend.

Imagine all this happening in SEA where lesbians are quite scarce.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 10:59

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 10:50
I would not make a big deal out of it if she cheated, with a woman.
What a stupid comment

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 10:50

I would not make a big deal out of it if she cheated, with a woman.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 10:07

i'd try to forgive her for my own sake but the rs would be over, would always have that suspicion on the back of my mind, there's no point to be with someone who i could never trust

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 09:59

I can’t forgive when she never asked for my forgiveness. Instead she gaslighted me and denied it. Told me the 3rd party was someone at work even though I suspected it was our mutual friend. Turns out I was right.

The saddest part is I would be ok if she wanted an open relationship as I was busy with my studies. It’s been a year last week since we broke up. I’m glad we broke up. In some ways, I wish we had never met. The past 2 years were a waste of my time and now I feel disgusted when I even think of her.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 09:58

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 07:47
Guest wrote:
08 Aug 2021, 16:37
Forgive? Ha!
She's lucky if she doesn't end up in the coffin with her lover.
No one should forgive a cheater. I hope the replies in this thread are mostly a big fat nope. You gotta have no backbone to forgive one
Nobody knows they chose a partner who exhibits the primary traits of a narcissist or sociopath, or someone without a conscience who cheats, they've been sucked into a deep love trap, or the both of them have financial assets together. Forgiving cheating is seen as weak because a cheater will generally cheat again. The cheater doesn't respect or value their partner. Standing outside judging others is easy when you're not invested in that type of relationship emotionally or financially.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 09:42

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 07:54
Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 07:47
Guest wrote:
08 Aug 2021, 16:37
Forgive? Ha!
She's lucky if she doesn't end up in the coffin with her lover.
No one should forgive a cheater. I hope the replies in this thread are mostly a big fat nope. You gotta have no backbone to forgive one
Things aren’t always black and white. It’s ok to give it a second chance.
DA You’re either lying to yourself or an insecure cheater. There’s no second chance with cheaters, if you believe them, they don’t respect you, they eventually fallback into their patterns and blame the person they’re with.

Re: Would You Forgive A Cheating Gf?

by Guest » 18 Feb 2022, 07:54

Guest wrote:
18 Feb 2022, 07:47
Guest wrote:
08 Aug 2021, 16:37
Forgive? Ha!
She's lucky if she doesn't end up in the coffin with her lover.
No one should forgive a cheater. I hope the replies in this thread are mostly a big fat nope. You gotta have no backbone to forgive one
Things aren’t always black and white. It’s ok to give it a second chance.

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